What if Brandon Snyder is Actually Wolverine, Folks?

By RossWB on October 6, 2017 at 10:57 am
The best there is at what he does?

Logan Bowles - USA Today Sports Images (original photo) / Go Iowa Awesome illustration

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Back on April 6, Brandon Snyder suffered a torn ACL during Iowa's spring football practices. We were sad and assumed his season was over because, well, it was a freaking torn ACL and in football it might as well go by its full name: "season-ending ACL injury." And yet now, almost six months to the day after suffering that injury, Brandon Snyder is expected to take the field for the Iowa defense again. 

What? How? The official story, as well-documented by Hawk Central's Chad Leistikow, is that Brandon Snyder got a bit lucky with some aspects of the injury (limited swelling) and attacked the surgery and recovery process with a vengeance. Oh, and he also has a history of absurdly fast recoveries: he broke a collarbone and returned in three weeks and he was diagnosed with compartment syndrome and missed only two months. Snyder, it seems, has freakish healing abilities at his disposal.

You know who else has freakish healing abilities at his disposal? Wolverine, a mutant and member of the X-Men, that's who. He's renowned for his healing factor which enables him to endure (literally) inhuman amounts of damage and punishment and repair himself quickly and come back for more. What if... Brandon Snyder is actually Wolverine? 

Think about it. He has a history of befuddling doctors with crazy-fast recoveries from medical ailments that would keep a normal human out of action for several more weeks or months. The doctor for his ACL surgery was named "Dr. Wolf," which might seem like a cute reference if you're actually Wolverine. He says he went to high school at "West Lyon," a guilty admission that he's lyin' about his backstory. 

Granted, he doesn't have the hair -- unless he's just keeping it trimmed down short to keep us all off his scent. Nor does he have the claws (which is probably fine; those things seem like an invitation for personal foul penalties), although he did rip the ball away from a Rutgers receiver to force a key fumble last season. Let's not be hasty and rule out the possibility just yet. 

Whether or not Brandon Snyder is a secret Canadian superhero or just an Iowa kid with unusually good fortune when it comes to injuries, we're certainly glad to have him back in the mix on defense this season. Iowa's secondary has been shaky at times this year, so adding an experienced and talented player like Snyder back there ought to help. Welcome back, Wolve--er, Brandon.

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