Scott Frost Has a Problem

By Patrick Vint on January 24, 2018 at 11:00 am
Scott Frost

Television screencap

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At the offices of Nebraska football, January 23, 2018:

Scott Frost Doo da doo dooooo da doo dooooo dahhh doooooo dooooo

Scott Frost Good ol' Nebraska U

Scott Frost Where the duh duhhhhh da duh d---

Secretary Diaco EXCUSE ME COACH FROST

Scott Frost Yes, what is it, Secretary?

Secretary Diaco MARK EMMERT FROM THE NCAA IS ON LINE ONE 

Scott Frost Probably calling to offer me another national championship won exclusively through complaining.

Scott Frost I'll take the call.

Scott Frost [picks up phone]

Scott Frost You've got Nebraska head coach Scott Frost. First Nebraska coach without an L since Osborne!

Mark Emmert Scott, Mark Emmert. NCAA President. How are you?

Scott Frost I'm doing great, Mark. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call? Are you here to offer me the lax academic standards, Prop 48 protection and television limitations that actually fueled Nebraska's best teams?

Mark Emmert No, not exactly, Scott.

Mark Emmert First, let me say that I'm delighted that you decided to return to Nebraska. It would really do the NCAA some good for a school synonymous with volleyball to have a somewhat-viable football program, as well.  No need for anyone to call Nebraska a 'volleyball school' anymore.

Mark Emmert Also, in looking at our records, it appears that you have done an excellent job with recruiting so far. We've received a bunch of letters of intent from the early signing period.

Scott Frost Hard not to do well, Mark, with a name brand that recruits' grandparents know like Nebraska!

Scott Frost But hey, if I wanted someone to blow sunshine up my rear end, I'd open the Omaha World Herald. So why did you call?

Mark Emmert Well, Scott, there's a problem with your recruiting records.

Scott Frost A problem? But I had Bob Diaco go through those letters thoroughly.

Mark Emmert Well, as you know, Scott, the National Letter of Intent is essentially a contract of servitude.

Mark Emmert It grants the NCAA and Nebraska rights to use a kid's name, likeness and entire person as a money-making mechanism for the university as a whole.

Mark Emmert Once a student-athlete signs the National Letter of Intent, we effectively own them.

Mark Emmert Obviously, given those ramifications, it's important that every detail be correct.

Scott Frost But Mark, while you were giving an unnecessarily detailed explanation of the Letter of Intent, I was reading these letters, and they look correct to me.

Mark Emmert The language is fine, Scott.

Mark Emmert It's the signature that is the problem.

Scott Frost I signed the one I'm looking at, Mark. In fact, it looks like I signed them all.

Mark Emmert Right. They weren't signed by Kirk Ferentz.  They need to be signed by Kirk Ferentz.

Scott Frost But why would Kirk Ferentz have to sign my team's letters of inte--

Mark Emmert BECAUSE KIRK FERENTZ OWNS NEBRASKA FROSTY

Gary Barta TOTALLY OWNS IT

Gary Barta FIFTY SIX FOURTEEN

Gary Barta FIFTY SIX FOURTEEN

Gary Barta FIFTY SIX FOURTEEN

Gary Barta WELCOME TO THE BIG TEN SON

Gary Barta DON'T WORRY, YOU CAN BRING THE LETTERS WITH YOU AND HAVE KIRK TAKE OWNERSHIP IN NOVEMBER

Gary Barta [click]

Scott Frost  Frost

Meanwhile, in Gary Barta's office...

Gary Barta lol

Laughing Ferentz snort

Gary Barta rofl

Laughing Ferentz double snort

Gary Barta oh man

Gary Barta It's good to be back.

Laughing Ferentz Yeah. I mean, I feel like we've executed better in the past, but that was good.

Laughing Ferentz I should probably get back to recruiting.

Gary Barta Oh come ON man. Let's do another one.

Laughing Ferentz But Gary...

Gary Barta One more.

Laughing Ferentz I really can't

Gary Barta ONE MORE CALL ONE MORE CALL ONE MORE CALL

Laughing Ferentz ...

Gary Barta ONE MORE CALL ONE MORE CALL ONE MORE CALL

Laughing Ferentz OK, fine, call Mark Dantonio and see if he'll wire you bail money.

Laughing Ferentz Good to have you back, Gary.

Gary Barta Good to be back, boss.

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