Are You Ready For A Rock Fight?

By RossWB on October 25, 2019 at 12:50 pm
welp
© Matt Marton-USA TODAY Sports
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(to the tune of this version* of "Are You Ready For Some Football?" by Hank Williams, Jr.)

Well it's Saturday morning
And we're down to hate-watch
These football teams are very boring
Touchdowns ain't coming by air or by ground
Saturday morning football's got no renown
We gotta cover our eyes, because we know soon
It's gonna be a rock fight in Evanston at noon

So get ready
I mean get ready

Are you ready for a rock fight?
A Saturday morning defecation
Yeah, this is "Retching" Ross Double-You Bee
With a dire warning for the nation
Here come the drops, the whiffs, the blunders, and the mistakes
Cause all my offensively-challenged teams drop in on Saturday morning

Run it into the line boy

Now they're ready for Ross and all over the internet
The unpaid labor on the screen, the loudmouths with the epithets
Looks like a blunder when they say hike
The back gets crushed like the OL's on strike
The receivers are runnin' a three yard out
The defense yawns, it's a stop no doubt
The guys flinging footballs, the way they overthrow
ESPN2's got the most unwatchable show

Are you ready for a rock fight?
A Saturday morning puntfest
Yes, sir, this is Ross and our psyche is gonna be tested
You see punts flyin', the crowd is dejected
Cause all my offensively-challenged teams are back for Saturday morning

Nobody's gonna enjoy
This is the hardest watch, boy
We got Kelly, and Lauren, and Roy
They're gonna get distressed

Yeah and the gang's all resigned, the time is coming soon
All my offensively-challenged teams are here on Saturday at noon

* There are a lot of different versions of lyrics for that song!

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