The Hyball: Purdue, Just This Once, Is Certified Cool

By Bobby Loesch on December 9, 2021 at 12:01 pm
© Nikos Frazier / Journal & Courier / USA TODAY NETWORK

The Hyball is a weekly Iowa men's basketball column

I don't know what this is, but I assume it's in West Lafayette.

Purdue, though historically bland and unsuccessful, has a lot to be happy about lately. They kicked our ass in football, did cool football stuff in general, and their men's basketball team is now sitting at No. 1 for the first time in school history.

And sure, you can knock their love of astronauts, promotion of Drew Brees, or the tucking t-shirts into pants thing...

...but, honestly, I want them to have this. I do.

Do I care if it goes longer than a week? No, not at all. Will for sure laugh when it ends. But this team is dope, y'all.

Zach Edey, who one guy on Twitter called "The Big Maple," has a definitively better haircut this year and is a marvel to watch hoop.

Remember this one?

He did it to Hunter Dickinson, too. I can't take my eyes off him when he's on the court.

Sasha Stefanovic is shooting a crisp 45% from three. He just looks like a player you'd go "Oh yeah, him!" about when remembering a national title winning team's starting five*.

(* - Lee Humphrey from Florida also came to mind; did I google "Adam Humphries" when trying to find him? Of course I did.)

But my absolute guy: projected lottery pick Jaden Ivey. His dunk against us at the 0:17 second mark here should've been worth 49 points:

Calling him Operation Ivey from here on out, and it couldn't be a bigger compliment (also, definitely want full credit).

It's obviously not a bold proclamation to say "The No. 1 team in the nation is pretty good!" but national media does concur:

So yeah, though I typically have found most Purdue fans humorless, and the "Boiler Up!" chant is about as bad as college traditions get*, I'm still fucking with this group. They've never been No. 1, they will represent the conference well**, and they're gonna be hella fun to watch all season.

Already counting the days until they come back to IC on January 27. They are setting the conference's highest bar, and it'll be very enjoyable to watch the teams gunning for that top spot trying to take them out. Everything tends to come back to 2004 Illinois with me, but it really is not unfair to say they have that vibe -- at least so far.

(* - I love how it's bad just once and you have to keep doing it over and over again; feel awful for that student section)

(** - lol fuck the Big Ten/whatever)

The Hyball

"I'm not a crier, I am moved easily."

Last Week

No. 2 Purdue 77, Iowa 70: Right up there as a Top 5 ever Iowa basketball loss, for me. Outgunned without Keegan Murray, dumbass foul trouble, and an opponent playing for everything... yet, we never quit. It looked dicey for a while, but the team just. kept. fighting.

Illinois 87, Iowa 83: You hate two ever call two straight losses "good", but... I liked our fight in this one as well. Illinois hit at least three bullshit shots, the three quarter court press again worked to perfection, and Tony Perkins made a real case for more minutes.

(UPDATE: My eyes tell me this clip is from the Purdue game. Whatever.)

Should he start over J-Bo?

Hawks N Beans thinks so!

On the subject, thought these two tweets articulated the problem pretty well:

Fran's reticence to tweak the lineup last year (moar Keegan Murray always and forever) -- combined with J-Bo's precious-to-all-coaches-anywhere-ever *experience* -- has me not holding my breath for a change.

Final aside: just now dawning on me how similar Perkins' name is to Tony Perkis.

If Perkins is Perkis (and let's be lazy and say he is), then who is Lars? Rebrača?!

* * *

Also, though he technically hit the Virginia shot over a week ago... one love to Joe Toussaint.

This Week

Iowa at Iowa State (19): Ohhhh, I badly wanna take this shit. Also, how surprised is J-Bo himself that he's going back to Hilton once again? Been nearly two full years since the memz.

Caitlin Corner

What a shot.

Brad Davison Is Definitively A Senior.


Play for you?! Is the sport mauling pedestrians?

What did Brad Davison do to earn this tweet? Make one consecutive shot in a row? Not perform an unconsented vasectomy on the court?

/assistant whispers in my ear

He won Big Ten Player of the Week?!?!? I refuse to believe it. Refuse. So... here's this.


Obligatory Michigan Section

Michigan firebombed Nebraska 102-67 (in Lincoln, too). Other than the offensive explosion, the biggest 'highlight' might have been Robbie Hummel and Jason Benetti's clear disdain for the Cornhuskers' collective effort throughout the entire game. They were quick to hit on this, but it really did feel like an exhibition at times. Would be blown away of they're not bottom three in the conference at this point.

Also: get well, Moussa.

The Mini-Hybrid

Big Ten championship game highlights

  • Liquidated my entire gambling account to bet Michigan (-11); it paid out $128, which was great, as the rideshare back cost $130
  • HOWEVA, got into the game for free; for real, no one asked for a ticket; didn't even have to empty my pockets or open my jacket
  • Might be a 'similar colors' issue, but it really seemed like a 50-50 split of fans as I walked through tailgates and up to the stadium (honestly, might even slant it Iowa's way), but the second the game started, it was very clear Michigan had the fan advantage, particularly when Iowa's offense was on the field
  • Most represented team of the two not playing? Ohio State, of course
  • Speaking of everyone's favorite university, the amount of times they got jeered for random shit during the game was heart-warming I apologize for spelling your name wrong, Malcolm Jenkins.
  • Ended up wearing Michigan gear; Iowa buddies were relatively supportive; I did not cheer for most of their plays but was pretty fuckin' blown away by this one (TRIGGER WARNING)
  • Had an Iowa buddy get so blitzed from a day's worth of drinking, he spent the entire first quarter in a bathroom stall (not throwing up, just mentally regrouping)
  • Michigan now has "Pump It Up" as one of their unofficial school songs, and I feel weirdly territorial/protective about Iowa's burrito lift
  • My overall disdain for Iowa's offense and general offensive philosophy is at an all-time high; how on earth can we retain Brian Ferentz this off-season? I was going to end this bullet point with "I will never understand", but, sadly, I think we all do
  • Iowa buddies left late Q3/early Q4, and it felt like more of a relief than anything else; was talking to an M fan a few seats down who seemed close to me in age, before revealing he was a 19-year-old Southern Illinois University student attending his first ever Michigan game; it was charming
  • The Michigan-Georgia spread already has me tempering any expectations of future good things, but enough Very Cool Stuff happened this season to hang many hats on
  • Speaking of Very Cool Stuff...

"Nothing can ruin thi--"


Ah, Yes. Yes. That's better.

Bill Walton's Western Civilization 

I picture him coolly catching the fist like it's a speeding bullet.

No Context College Basketball
Wrapping It Up...

They are... such dork asses.

Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Go Iowa Awesome. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or email to bobbyloesch [at]

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