Breaking news: Nebraska claims spring game championship trophy.
Following last year’s disastrous 4-8 campaign, Nebraska players and coaches vowed to “Get 'er done” this spring. From players to head man Scott Frost, there has been a renewed focus to win the spring game. Or else.
“We have been working non-stop to prepare for the spring game. I don’t think the white team is ready for our trick plays,” QB Adrian Martinez said, nodding confidently. “This is our bowl game. Who needs the College Football Playoff when you have the tradition of the red and white spring game? There is even a trophy involved this year; I heard it was going to be that old Cy-Hawk trophy with the farm family huddled around a bushel of corn.”
Indeed, athletic director Bill Moos has confirmed to Go Iowa Awesome that the abandoned Cy-Hawk trophy has been repurposed for the red and white spring game.
“Because we keep on losing our trophy games, we need some type of hardware around here. That old Cy-Hawk trophy perfectly reflects our state. Plus, I found it in a Grand Island pawn shop for $2.28. Go red. Er, I mean, go white,” Moos said. “You know what, I am just happy to finally have a football championship around here.”
More than just playing for the old Cy-Hawk trophy, Husker players are chasing spring football glory. They want to be remembered among the all too lengthy list of Husker spring football legends.
“Does the name Zac Taylor mean anything to you?” Martinez said, seemingly upbraiding a Go Iowa Awesome reporter. “He is the gold standard--the gold standard, I repeat--for Nebraska spring football. I mean--that 2005 spring game. He was slingin’ it all over the place.”
While a Go Iowa Awesome reporter stared blankly, Martinez continued, “Look, most of us, if not all of us, won’t be remembered in another six months. This is our time to shine. We have been preparing the past 12 months for this Saturday. Go red!”
Martinez promised that his red team would prevail--again. He was looking forward to entering the pantheon of Husker legends, quarterbacking the red team to back to back spring game victories.
“Spring game records are the stuff of legend around here. I can be a part of Husker history. I hope I can give Scott Frost a Gatorade bath--just like the one Mike Riley received for winning the 2015 spring game,” Martinez exclaimed. “This 2019 spring game is going to set us up for a great season---one that hopefully prepares us to win that 2020 spring game.”
“I can’t wait to hoist the old Cy-Hawk,” Martinez added. “That trophy sure beats former coordinator Bob Diaco’s Civil ConFLiCT trophy. I think he still keeps that thing in his trunk.”
For more in-depth coverage of the 2019 Nebraska spring game--including a yard by yard breakdown of Martinez’s assault on Zac Taylor spring game passing record (lol), check out the Omaha World Herald.