HELLO WORLD! We promised you winners last week and what did we do? WE GAVE YOU ALL OF THE WINNERS. We finished opening weekend 8-3 with two of those losses coming in the most brutal fashion possible. Northwestern and their awful, terrible, no good QB screwed us and The Labor Day Parlay for Lots of Pay was ruined when Oregon couldn’t keep Auburn out of the end zone with 30 seconds left. Gambling is the worst sometimes. Luckily, not even bad beats could slow us down, and this week promises to be EVEN BETTER now that we have seen everyone play a game.
All times CST.
#20 Iowa -19.5 vs Rutgers (11:00 AM, FS1)
A week after telling you all to never bet on Rutgers athletics we get forced to bet on Rutgers athletics. This stinks. Rutgers beat UMass 48-21 last week, good job! They were also trailing 21-7 at one point…not great! Iowa got off to a very slow start against the mighty Miami (OH) Redhawks, but pulled away at the end. Since the game ended I have been watching nothing but videos of Kyler Schott pancaking people and now I am convinced we are going undefeated this year. Iowa wins by three scores and we never bet on a Rutgers game again!
PICK: Iowa – 20 AND over 49.5
Maryland -2 vs #21 Syracuse (11:00 AM, ESPN)
Maryland is riding high after absolutely destroying Howard 79-0. Maybe Howard should not play football anymore? That seems like the best idea. Syracuse is coming off of a 24-0 shutout against Liberty, which is very impressive considering Liberty’s coach was coaching from the skybox WHILE LAYING IN A HOSPITAL BED. How could Liberty lose with motivation like that???? I will tell you how, Syracuse is good. Syracuse wins a close one.
PICK: Syracuse +2
#7 Michigan -22.5 vs Army (11:00 AM, FOX)
I have been saying this since for as long as I can remember: Army is a gigantic pain in the ass to play. They are tough as hell, play super slow, and punch you in the face over and over and over again. They almost took down Oklahoma last season on their way to going 11-2. Michigan struggled to put away Middle Tennessee State last week, I see something similar happening here. Michigan wins, but not by enough.
PICK: ARMY +22.5
#24 Nebraska -4 @ Colorado (2:30 PM, FOX)
A lot of people are excited about this game, but I have a question that I think everyone needs to be asking. Should Nebraska forfeit this game? As we all know, the Nebraska football team had a major problem this summer with players doing marijuana. After all of the arrests, is it really smart to take this team to a state where smoking Mary J (marijuana) is legal? I thought college football was about keeping players safe, so taking a bunch of kids who clearly cannot control themselves around the devil's lettuce (marijuana) seems very UNSAFE. I mean, they are going to a town where you can buy a joint (marijuana cigarette) on every corner, not good!!! I say Nebraska should stay home and forfeit the game, it is the only way these kids will learn that marijuana is a dangerous gateway drug.
Anyway, if they do play (god forbid) it will be a shootout. Colorado wins after Nebraska can’t handle the altitude (and the marijuana smoke) in the second half.
PICK: COLORADO +4
#19 Michigan State -16 vs Western Michigan (6:30 PM, BTN)
For a brief minute last week it looked like Michigan State might have actually found an offense. Then they proceeded to score three points in the second half and all hope of them being semi-competent with the ball was lost. Fortunately, their defense still looks very good and they shouldn’t have any issues stopping Western Michigan...You know what, I think I might just make picking Michigan State unders my new thing…#MSUnders!
PICK: UNDER 47
#15 Penn State -29.5 vs Buffalo (6:30 PM, FOX)
A battle of two teams whose stud QBs graduated last year. The defending MAC champions are going to continue to be a problem for their conference foes, but I don’t think they have the firepower to hang with Penn State this year. I won’t look this up, but I have it ingrained in my mind that James Franklin LOVES running the score up against out of conference opponents, and a 79-7 win last week against Idaho does nothing but back my theory up. Penn State will dominate the defending MAC champs, let’s just hope it doesn’t ruin #MACtion for us going forward.
PICK: Penn State -29.5
GAMES YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY WANT TO WATCH
#1 Clemson -17.5 vs #12 Texas A&M: You don’t get rich betting against Clemson.
#17 UCF -10 vs Florida Atlantic: The 2017 fake National Champions might go undefeated again.
#9 Texas +5.5 @ #6 LSU: TEXAS IS BACK, BABY!
PAC 12 AFTER DARK
Hawaii -6.5 vs Oregon State: COLE MCDONALD FOR PRESIDENT
2019 record: ATS 6-3 UNDERS 1-0 OVERS 1-0