SPREAD AWARENESS WEEK 12: WINNERS FROM A REAL LIFE MINNESOTAN

By Nickdo on November 15, 2019 at 9:45 am
row row row your boat, gently down the undefeated stream...
© Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports
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Oh hi, didn’t see ya there, my name's Jim from Minnesota! Weird story aye, I had just got done sliding some biscuits into the net on the ice sheet and got a call from my favorite uncle, Spread Awareness! He said he needed a mental break and asked if I could help with picks this week since Iowa and Minnesota play and I was like you betcha! I mostly watch puck up here in Brainerd, Minnesota but dontcha know it my Gophers are undefeated this season, what a time to be alive, ROW THE BOAT!!!

OK then, time to make some picks, let’s go crazy!

BIG TEN LOCKS OF THE WEEK

#13 Wisconsin -14.5 @ Nebraska (11:00 AM CST, BTN)

Sure is a shame what has happened to Nebraska this year. Watching them play football reminds of playing Duck Duck Gray Duck back in grade school, there was always one kid who swore he was the fastest kid in the class but when he was it he could never actually catch anyone! Oh, speaking of Nebraska, that Adrian Martinez fellow sure seems to be struggling aye? Before the year there was talk he was going to be the football version of Phil Housley but boy was everyone wrong, he looks like a real bender out there! The Badgers shouldn’t have any issues with the corn.

PICK: Badgers -14.5

#14 Michigan -13.5 vs Michigan State (11:00 AM CST, FOX)

Oh, some fellow northerners taking to the grass to battle it out, what a treat! I could make a joke about Michigan State blowing a giant lead against Illinois but that’s against the Minnesota Nice code so I’ll just say good effort, boys! I ran into a wolverine once while I was in my yard and doncha know it that thing tried to bite me! Ope, gotta keep your eyes open in these parts!

PICK: MICHIGAN -13.5

UMass +41 @ Northwestern (11:00 AM CST, BTN)

This game is a big bowl of grandmammy's crapola! Speaking of Grandmammy and her famous crapola, RIP! The only way to get through this type of game is to eat some hot dish before kickoff and then take a nap for most of the game. Mmmm hot dish.

PICK: UMASS +41

Indiana +14 @ Penn State (11:00 AM CST, ABC)

The last time Indiana was this good at football there were only 9,000 lakes up here in Minnesota! Hoosier sounds a lot like Hoser, which is not someone you want to associate with. The Nittany Lions win this one!

PICK: PENN STATE -14

Ohio State -52.5 @ Rutgers (2:30 PM CST, BTN)

Holy buckets! Ohio State is a 52.5 point favorite? I haven’t seen a game this lopsided since Trinidad and Tobago took the ice against our beloved Mighty Ducks at the 1994 Goodwill Games! That Justin Fields guy for OSU sure has a lot of Charlie Conway characteristics in him, be sure to keep his mother away from Coach Bombay!

PICK: OHIO STATE - 52.5

#7 Minnesota +3 @ #23 Iowa (3:00 PM CST, FOX)

Oh hey nice! A real rivalry game comin atcha this weekend. These two don’t really like each other, and oh fer cute they play for a big bronze pig trophy! Our undefeated Gophers haven’t won a game in Iowa City since 1999. 20 Years! That’s the same amount of time my wife spends in Mall of America whenever we go LOL! That streak is going to end though with my good friend and pal PJ Fleck leading our Gophers. The poor run of luck in Iowa City ends this weekend, ROW THE BOAT! SKI-U-MAH! 10,000 LAKES! SKOLLLLLLLLLL!

PICK: MINNESOTA +3

BIG GAMES, BIGGER WINNERS

#23 Navy +7 @ #16 Notre Dame

#19 Texas +7 @ Iowa State

#17Cincinnati -13.5 @ South Florida

#4 Georgia -2.5 @ #12 Auburn

#13 Baylor +10 vs #10 Oklahoma

 

YTD Record: 58-62-4

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