THE HYBRID: FRIDAY NIGHT BIG TEN GAMES ARE DUMB, DUH

By Bobby Loesch on November 3, 2016 at 2:00 pm
White Malcolm X Eric Taylor

Coach Jim Delany

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The Hybrid is a weekly Big Ten football preview, plus relevant or whimsy games from the national slate

You didn't think I could tie the Cubs winning the World Series into Wazzu football, did you? Wrong.

Michigan football was obviously too easy.

And, lastly, Iowa football, courtesy of my buddy/Cubs fan Ryan.

Cubs/Iowa Texting

Gotta love sports.

* * *

Oh, and the intro isn't done. Not if Jim "The White Malcolm X" Delany has something to say about it. And of course he does. Our man has ideas.

I'll let Brian Cook start with some immediate destruction.

Good start, let's keep it going. 

HA.

My initial thought was "ugh" upon hearing all of this. Ross basically said the same.

Still: this is overall a dumb and bad idea.  The Big Ten has eschewed Friday night home games for years because of campus logistics and because they didn't want to conflict with high school football or affect class time. None of those issues have been solved -- the campus logistics will be terrible, this will definitely create a conflict with high school football, and it will certainly impact class time for student-athletes (and maybe general students as well, if the campus logistics issues forces schools to cancel classes on Friday afternoons to accommodate a Friday night home football game). The difference now is that the Big Ten is getting paid a lot of money to simply ignore those issues. Which is exactly what it wil be doing as it cashes those big TV deal checks. 

There appears to be no real thought behind it at all.

Then, I pondered... is this just gonna be for bad teams? 

Purnois forver.

Sparty was actually receptive... but Sparty has done Friday games on Week 1 for a little bit now.

But in-state rival Michigan already said no. And, per ESPN: "Schools with huge stadiums, such as Penn State and Ohio State, won't be asked to host them."

Well that's good, because Penn State ain't havin' it regardless.

Minnesota? Swallowing the pill: "We will play the schedule assigned to us by the Big Ten."

Indiana says they'll do it once every three years.

Purdue and Illinois (PURNOIS)? Well: "The Boilermakers also agreed to play on Friday nights. Illinois also says it's on board with hosting Friday night games."

So what's the point? You want smaller schools on this stage? Is this for some meaningless jargon's sake? Brand exposure? It's for brand exposure, isn't it? That's gotta be what they're going with (if they're gonna pretend it's not all about the $$$). I seriously feel like I could close my eyes, throw a dart, and find corporate speak on accident.

/tosses

Yup.

“It does create additional opportunities for certain programs that heretofore have not had that kind of national prime-time exposure on Saturday night to maybe have that on Friday night,” senior associate commissioner Mark Rudner said.

Being soulless is so effortless.

#heretofore

The Hybrid

"A desire not to butt into other people’s business is eighty percent of all human wisdom."

Tuesday

Bowling Green at Northern Illinois: The game already occurred, but its existence annoyed me because the BG coaches stayed across the street from my office in a hotel next to my gym. When I went over to workout at lunch, they had commandeered the basketball court with their cool dunks and clunky football-style brand of hoops. Were they playing half court, thus derailing the expected full court run by forcing myself and 11 other guys to the other side? You know it. Come on, bros.

(Later that day, they lost 45-20 to a 3-6 NIU team and are now 1-8 themselves; redemption!)

Western Michigan (17) at Ball State: P.J. Fleck is so weird. I'm not saying I dislike him, but I *am* saying that, even at age 18, I would have seen through this gimmicky shit a mile away.

Wednesday

N/A

Thursday

Oklahoma (12) at Iowa State: Meh. Also, why is Baker Mayfield a Heisman contender? I'm not looking up his stats -- I'm sure they're good -- but who the hell has Oklahoma beaten? I am looking that up.

/checks

Louisiana-Monroe, Texas, Kansas State, Texas Tech, Kansas

None are ranked. They were also beaten by Ohio State (one loss) and Houston (three losses); not impressed.

Friday Night Lights

San José State at Boise State (24): Come on, Boise. We wanted you to run the table and mess stuff up, but now you're ranked below Paul Revere Fleck.

Shout out to me for getting that é in the San José.

Saturday

Navy at Notre Dame: This game starts at 10:30 a.m. CST, so I assumed it was in a random ass place like England. Nope, Jacksonville. What the hell is this game supposed to be?

Texas A&M (7) at Mississippi State: Still kinda hangin' around eh, A&M?

Vanderbilt at Auburn (11): Man, when the hell did Auburn vault up like this? I feel like we never even saw them ranked prior.

Louisville (5) at Boston College: We all know Lamar Jackson, so let's meet someone from the other side of the ball. May I -- or a guy significantly more hyped than myself -- introduce you to James Hearns?

Texas at Texas Tech: Charlie Strong always seems to photograph really well.

Indiana at Rutgers: Apparently Indiana brought in their backup QB Zander "The Jewish Johnny Manziel" Diamont last week and were running option plays with him as the RB. And the plays were working. I dunno, seems sustainable.

Michigan State at Illinois: Hi, Sparty!

U Mad?

Sure, you lost your biggest game of the year and pretty much got dominated, but those garbage touchdowns sure did change the narrative on a local level. That's... good, right?

JK, everyone saw right through it.

Can you put this in an analogy? Yeah, sure.

Done done done.

It almost makes you feel bad for Dantonio.

You're right, no it doesn't.

Wisconsin (8) at Northwestern: /shrug ... Seems good.

Maryland at Michigan (2): Pylon go bye bye.

That pales in comparison to the sprinter finish, though.

Or the backflip.

Any final thoughts, Karan Higdon?

"Yeah," running back Karan Higdon said. "Jabrill's a really fast guy."

Thank you, Karan Higdon.

Purdue at Minnesota: Did we... ever find out who is interim head coach at Purdue? Probably some guy.

Syracuse at Clemson (3): Clemson Tom never hit me up this week, so we're punting this section.

TCU at Baylor (13): A courteous hat tip to all who correctly slept on the Baylor Bears yet again.

Florida (10) at Arkansas: /skeptical look at Florida

Missouri at South Carolina: Cancel the shit search -- we've got our SEC Turd of the Week.

Tennessee Tech at Tennessee: Do we... care about this?

Arizona at Washington State (25): Ranked, bitches!

I suppose we can continue to swear more, as my notes for this one said "fucking awesome catch".

That's WR River Cracraft (real name) with maybe the best toes in grab I've seen at the collegiate level. So good, it already got meme'd.

Tulane at UCF: UCF, victors and survivors of the Civil ConFLiCT, took out Houston last week, so their wins continue to stay good and funny.

Kansas at West Virginia (14): RIP, WFV.

Iowa at Penn State (20): Oof, we are not catching Penn State at a good time -- for us or them. Greg Davis to the rescue?

Boned.

Alabama (1) at LSU (15): Game of the Week. Well, LSU -- let's see what ya got. Nighttime at Death Valley is never a walk in the park... but has the offense rounded out enough to keep pace with 'Bama? Leonard DiMaggio, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

Nebraska (9) at Ohio State (6): Why, oh why couldn't Nebraska have been at home for this one?

Speaking of harmless trolling, Braxton Miller... come on down!

Hahaha -- it's just true.

Washington (4) at California: Cal, can you fuck around and upset these guys, or nah?

It happens every time.

Wrapping It Up...

Finish line.

Peppers Finish

(Thanks, Ace.)

Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Go Iowa Awesome. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or e-mail at bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com.

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