The Hybrid is a weekly Big Ten football preview, plus relevant or whimsy games from the national slate
What once was.
(Photo Credit: Matthew Emmons, USA Today Sports Images)
"When I was a child, I spoke like a child."
Georgia Tech at Miami (FL) (11): This says "Postponed", but when I checked the Saturday games, it was there... so maybe it got pushed back for some reason? I'm gonna flat out assume this had something to do with the early season hurricane and simply move on.
What I won't move on from? This Mark Richt lameness.
"Stop being awesome, guys. Stop enjoying the nothing fruits of your unpaid labor. Stop it!!!"
* * *
Also, had to save this tweet for two full weeks, but finally, it gets deployed.
Paul Johnson: When the FBI/CBB stuff broke, for once in my life, I said I'm glad we're with Russell Athletic.— David Glenn Show (@DavidGlennShow) September 28, 2017
Clemson (2) at Syracuse: This game seems boring. Clemson Tom?
What did I tell you about the Wake Forest game? I’m just over here stating facts. In the third quarter, we started putting in our third and fourth string players.
This week, we play Sarah Cues. If this were basketball, I would be a little worried -- but it’s not. We’ll dominate their asses like we always do. They’ve got a few freshman on their offensive line, and that’s gonna pretty much be their demise. Our defense is gonna be in a feeding frenzy.
It’s hard to trash talk them because they’re so bad. Just take Clemson with the points and thank me later. This won’t be a game. We’ll have our 3rd and 4th string guys in midway through the third... again.
Washington State (8) at California: Washington State is a Top 10 team. Last week, I dubbed the Cougs "2015 Iowa," and the weekend's result did nothing but strengthen the case. It wasn't that Wazzu won by double digits at Oregon. It was the *swagger* with how it happened.
It began how it always begins, by us getting called the name of our hated rival.
This @FOXSports announcer just said Washington instead of Washington State. Not the same bro.— Tracy Cunningham (@tracun24) October 8, 2017
Then the Eugene paper refused to put respect on it.
So Lukey went ahead and broke Marcus' record in Marcus' stadium.
Then, probably my favorite sequence of this CFB season to not feature Akrum Wadley: Falk with a dime to Isaiah Johnson-Mack, who hauls it in for the TD and throws up the O. In Autzen.
This team is contagious. I figured it'd stop there, but no... minor shade thrown on the socials.
Then, some mega chest puffin’.
But later on... a very important discovery.
I dont know why I think Mike Leach eating a banana on the sideline is funny. But it is. pic.twitter.com/83SVJ4F5i7— Josh Friesen (@ByJoshFriesen) October 8, 2017
We have a new banana boy!
And in the end, the flag flies.
It's (still) spreading.
TCU (6) at Kansas State: I haven't watched a second of TCU this season, yet they bore me to tears. How is this possible? I do not know. This was definitely a step in the right direction, though.
The results are in pic.twitter.com/piI2RvTkUf— College GameDay (@CollegeGameDay) October 7, 2017
Michigan (17) at Indiana: The fucking original banana boys. This past Saturday, the Michigan Wolverines continued their annual fall tradition of bottoming me out as a human being.
I cannot put into words how much I hate Michigan football; a new language must be invented.— Bobby L. (@bobbystompy) October 8, 2017
One thing led to another, and I found myself ordering a rental stream of "Can't Hardly Wait," trying to make sense of things.
congrats to MSU and their fans pic.twitter.com/qiCLcxnJUJ— Bobby L. (@bobbystompy) October 8, 2017
It may have gotten a little too dramatic.
Ah, yes, you wanted to talk about the State game itself. Because you're Iowa fans with cold hearts or because you hate me a little? Oh, both reasons. OK, sure.
First, a ray of hope:
Now? Reality. Ain't no brightside that bullshit.
This is a masterpiece pic.twitter.com/MoD7zM13ep— Ben Glicksman (@BenGlicksman) October 8, 2017
John O'Korn then took being a banana boy a little too seriously.
What in the world pic.twitter.com/1PE2Rizms0— Deadspin (@Deadspin) October 8, 2017
Which opened the door for a very deserved this...
But nothing, ever, more deserved than this.
Legit have hit a point where I'm like "THIS GUY IS ONTO SOMETHING."
Time it took to exit their mothers womb:— raj (@internetraj) October 10, 2017
Rich Rod: 9 months
Hoke: 9 months
Harbaugh: 9 months
Rutgers at Illinois: Iowa will continue to make friends with their new tradition, and I love every second of it.
Also, props to the Illini for not being weird about the pink locker room.
Eastern Michigan at Army: I'm writing this section on Monday night, and we still do not have an explanation for this.
Which game are these guys watching? pic.twitter.com/N8588eYbyb— Deadspin (@Deadspin) October 7, 2017
BYU at Mississippi: Adding Coke as a campus beverage brought the ATL to Provo faster than anyone could have imagined.
Really need to know who this cougar is pic.twitter.com/7gqzdzIVb2— Jasmine (@JasmineLWatkins) October 10, 2017
South Carolina at Tennessee: Not sure I ever understood this meme until Butch Jones fell victim.
Kansas at Iowa State: One love to the Clones for topping Oklahoma. Some are saying it's the biggest win in school history -- is that true?
Also, is it true that "some are saying" makes me sound like Trump?
Purdue at Wisconsin (7): Wisconsin sucks too and probably doesn't belong in the Top 10. Give 'em hell, Boilers.
Auburn (10) at LSU: /you talking sense into someone considering watching this
Oklahoma (12) at Texas: MEHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Northwestern at Maryland: Northwestern gave us a lot of funny content the last time they played a game on television.
This weird split jersey.
when you have a kid on both teams pic.twitter.com/fjbpnVarFX— Dr. Saturday (@YahooDrSaturday) October 7, 2017
This bad punt.
Here's a 13-yard punt by Northwestern pic.twitter.com/haKIsPIPLE— Dr. Saturday (@YahooDrSaturday) October 7, 2017
presented without comment pic.twitter.com/HRn52OFsve— Dr. Saturday (@YahooDrSaturday) October 7, 2017
And finally, the onset of shame.
Let's see how things are going for Northwestern fans: pic.twitter.com/VQRywTeirz— Deadspin (@Deadspin) October 7, 2017
Vanderbilt at Ole Miss: I was going to research "blowing the admiral" in an effort to teach GIA something... but I decided maybe it's best none of us know.
Very strange tradition, Vandy pic.twitter.com/USqY8PWBNF— Chris Vernon (@ChrisVernonShow) October 7, 2017
Bad punt to rival Northwestern's bad punt, take us out.
Not ideal, Vandy pic.twitter.com/E7eW5bI8tM— Deadspin (@Deadspin) October 7, 2017
Colorado at Oregon State: /ponder emoji
Maybe it's just the Barry Alvarez system \_()_/ pic.twitter.com/KpHeSVArSF— David Wunderlich (@Year2) September 27, 2017
East Carolina at UCF (22): Were you aware UCF is undefeated *and* has had two games cancelled?
Texas A&M at Florida: Good Florida.
RIP Tom Petty. pic.twitter.com/8akHgv3hKd— Cody Worsham (@CodyWorsham) October 7, 2017
These look like your dad refused to buy you a Ninja Turtles costume because he insisted he could make it himself. https://t.co/wcE1oEQOXW— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) October 10, 2017
Arkansas at Alabama (1):
...and watching Nick Saban's team is like rat poison for our eyes.
Missouri at Georgia (4):
Ohio State (9) at Nebraska: Didn't even make a note to myself to start calling him "Urban Truther" after his quote last week, but I suppose hate stays with you longer than love ever could.
Cincinnati at South Florida (18): Lotta good shrug GIFs in the comments last week, but I should have specified: I was looking for something from YouTube. But sure, I'll play your game:
Utah at USC (13):
best extra point ever? pic.twitter.com/L6xgtdB9Qi— Dr. Saturday (@YahooDrSaturday) October 8, 2017
Michigan State (21) at Minnesota: Oh my god, they're *ranked* now too? This is not gonna be good for business...
Emrck68: 3 Shiftyz06: 4 Dip-Shit: 1
Calvin Poolidge: 6
Scratch Where It Itches: 6
Captain America: 5
Hollywood Hawk Hogan: 5.5
Goodbye to Xarin, as well as my Slater RA (Shiftyz06). Sparty is dropping y'all like flies.
Boise State at San Diego State (19): OK, let's talk about this.
BAH GAWD Rashaad Penny! pic.twitter.com/gwK1EaDFUG— Deadspin (@Deadspin) October 8, 2017
Listen, I know I have a checkered past when it comes to respecting RBs... but that play wasn't all that cool. You remember Leonard, right? I remember Leonard.
I will never forget Leonard.
LEONARD FOURNETTE WAVED ON THE HIT! pic.twitter.com/5MaNCZ5zMd— Big Cat Country (@BigCatCountry) October 8, 2017
Washington (5) at Arizona State: I kinda view shit talkin' Washington like 2Pac viewed Biggie during the recording of "Hit 'Em Up" -- it's my job, it's in my core, I will end your existence -- but, like that venomous diss track, even the legend had help. This week, we pass the mic.
Even Herbie went in.
Though misguided, it was about Washington. So, you know, whatever.
amendment https://t.co/mMa55jE0GY— Bobby L. (@bobbystompy) October 8, 2017
Oregon at Stanford (23): David Shaw...
...has captured the Chocolate Milk Title Belt!!!!
Wrapping It Up...
Gonna give the last word to my buddy and Slater 9 homie, Ryan Levy.
Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Go Iowa Awesome. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or email to bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com.