THE HYBRID: MONTANA TECH IS OUR GOD NOW

By Bobby Loesch on October 26, 2017 at 2:00 pm
ROLL DAMN DIGGS
6 Comments

The Hybrid is a weekly Big Ten football preview, plus relevant or whimsy games from the national slate

This was just... thee best.

Have some.

Other than that and a Wazzu win, not a lot made me happy in college football last week. Iowa did Iowa things. Michigan cliff dove like they always do. But one good thing did occur. After finding out Montana Tech won 93-19 (!!!) via ESPN, I expressed desire to be a part of something great.

Shortly after, their very gracious O-line coach reached out:

Roll Diggs? Is this team the coolest in the world?

Indeed.

Chicago, stand up. Montana, stand up. We might have something here.

We definitely have something here.

These are my people. Inviting, real. All I ever got from Michigan fans was "Did you go here?"

They even do the damn. One love to Butte, Montana.

Me; adrift, prior to all this:

Sandlot

The Hybrid

"In one sense, the story of human history is just people inventing progressively more advanced ways in which to be awful idiots, in groups."

Thursday

Stanford (20) at Oregon State: Stanford retained the Chocolate Milk Title Belt vs. Oregon, but... so much more happened.

- Kevin Hogan started an NFL game

...it didn't go great.

- A rabbit invaded the field and showed more explosion on offense than we've seen from the Cardinal -- /shudder -- in years

/remembers the Iowa-Stanford Rose Bowl

...forget that joke

- Someone put together a gallery of coaches with Gundy mullets

David Shaw Mullet!!!

Ba-hahahahahaha.

Friday Night Lights

Florida State at Boston College: What was your plan, Jimbo? How did you really see this going?

Saturday

Wisconsin (5) at Illinois: Turns out Mikey's injury *is* a knee but *isn't* season-ending. Get well, 18. Wish you were around to make Sconnie sweat.

Miami (FL) (8) at North Carolina: I'm about done using "(FL)" to specify The U . From now on, in this column, Miami = Miami (FL) and Miami (OH) = Miami (OH), got it?

Miami (8) at North Carolina: Oh man, they look so naked. Now I'm not so sure... what does everyone else think?

/insecurely crumbles

Oklahoma State (11) at West Virginia (22): Stay frosty, Okie State.

Rutgers at Michigan: The banana boys. This... isn't even a team anymore. Last week, we...

- Nearly killed a photographer

- Got gashed

- Got heated

- Got emo

- Got... something

- Ran some shit ass routes

- Got punned

...but worry not. The homie Bryan Mac has a solution.

Yeah?

Hmm...

Sober? No.

Arkansas at Ole Miss: Foooooooooooooooooore.

Louisville at Wake Forest: I liked this.

Livin' that SPK life, just like my pre-diabetic former roommate Jeremy Papp does.

Kansas State at Kansas: Pick pick pick.

Penn State (2) at Ohio State (6): Game of the Week. Fuck these teams; they've brought me nothing but pain.

Seriously, die for a while.

When not doing things like that, the Nittany Lions can be flashy and cool, like when they basically played pickup basketball last week.

We seriously got Euro stepped. I can't even be mad. Euro steps are divine.

It is, however, safe to say the Penn State heads are starting to swell just a little bit.

Let's all remember this moment.

Seriously, have we all learned nothing?

Michigan is Michigan.

Lastly, new meaning to the White Out here:

In final conclusion...

Urban Mullet

Hahaha. Too bad the famous pizza pic didn't have a more profile-y shot. Woulda been a prime mullet target. You know... it actually could've worked.

Georgia (3) at Florida: Very impressive, still not Leonard.

TCU (4) at Iowa State (25): I, for one, choose not to be bitter about Iowa State's ranking, but you probably expected that. Come on, though -- where do you really think this is all going? It's over after this week. And if this isn't the end? Holy shit.

NC State (14) at Notre Dame (9): Why no, I am *not* interested in your "This ND team is underrated and kinda likable!" narrative. Are we just... supposed to forget Brian Kelly exists?

OK, that is a compelling case.

Michigan State (16) at Northwestern: The Sparty win train rolls on at 14 miles per hour. Not sure what to say at this point. They'll be No. 1 in the country soon. They have nearly as many wins as LJ Scott traffic offenses.

Emrck68: 3
Shiftyz06: 4
Dip-Shit: 1

Calvin Poolidge: 6
Scratch Where It Itches: 6
MdHawkeye: 5
Xarin: 4
Captain America: 5
IowaPharmer: 5
Hollywood Hawk Hogan: 5.5

Well, you all (likely) lose.

Cya.

Indiana at Maryland: Indiana, you used to be cool and chaotic. Now all you do is get close to beating Ohio State and Michigan State before turning into big, dumb pumpkins.

Houston at South Florida (17): Final birds, promise.

Austin Peay at UCF (18): Man, these directional Florida teams better not blow that potential end-of-the-season undefeateds game. Also, totally forgot Scott Frost was the UCF coach until this week; pretty cool. I was always more of a USF man myself, but that was based on pretty much nothing except when they were Top 2, like, a decade ago. So let's pick a side. Are we UCF people or USF folks? Being a Montana Tech fan, that state is so far from my school, it's like a different country.

Speaking of...

Montana Tech at Rocky Mountain College: Can't imagine my Diggs putting up 90+ again, but hopefully we can keep the momentum going on offense. ROLL GOD DAMN DIGGS.

Minnesota at Iowa: Not sure the black and gold ravens can beat the Night King.

Also, being from South Naperville... I'm good with this.

(Iowa was the most attended out-of-state university from my high school.)

Tennessee at Kentucky: Lied.

Really lied.

Nebraska at Purdue: It's been two weeks now, but I know GIA is typically a safe space for Nebraska failure content. These come post-Ohio State.

- There was the dude who couldn't make out

- The sarcastic balloon launch

- And the sobering statistic

That's a "go home forever"-type of thing.

Georgia Tech at Clemson (7): 

Speaking of hiding, no Clemson Tom this week. Was gonna reach out, but he had to put his pup down a couple days ago, so I left it alone. We'll get him back soon.

UPDATE: Our man is here and of course plays hurt.

Thank God we had a bye week. Kelly Bryant still has somewhat of an injured ankle, but we definitely are going to need him if we’re going to make a Playoff push. This week, our Tigers take on the Yellow Jackets. I dislike Georgia Tech because of their 1930s offense, but I really dislike Paul Johnson's face.

This time around, Georgia Tech has a QB that can apparently do their quadruple option the way it's supposed to be run. I hope our D-line obliterates that crappy style of an offense.

As a fanbase, we really need to blowout Georgia Tech and get our swagger back. That 'Cuse loss really took the wind out of our sails. I will always tip my hat to Syracuse for them beating us the way they did. However, we got to get a little bit of piss and vinegar back in our bloodstream. We need to go out there and beat somebody’s ass just because.

If you’re not ready to go out and punch somebody in the mouth, don't put on that orange jersey.

Texas Tech at Oklahoma (10): Meh.

Washington State (15) at Arizona: Wazzu took us to some rainy places last week, man. I was in Indy, so watching the game in EST with an 11:45 p.m. kickoff felt like a borderline dream. This was probably the most normal thing...

Then some halftime Homecoming racin'.

Then Leach made the O do up downs -- not push ups -- because they went three-and-out on two straight drives.

Then some real offensive futility from Colorado (albiet in a rain storm).

Then PJ Kendall drank beer because PJ Kendall drinks beers.

Also I miss RichRod.

USC (21) at Arizona State: /ponder emoji

Wrapping It Up...

What a weird ass season.

For real.

Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Go Iowa Awesome. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or email to bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com.

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