The Hybrid is a weekly Big Ten football preview, plus relevant or whimsy games from the national slate
It doesn't totally have to be this way.
Chud Urban Meyer is back, and sure, there isn't much we can directly do about it, but after last week's Hybrid, Nerdhawk had a genuinely brilliant idea:
I will donate $100 to the domestic violence prevention charity of your choice if you never reference, mention, cite, allude to, or acknowledge the existence of that dumpster fire of a coach at Ohio State again in this column for the rest of the season. (But hopefully forever.)
I am in. No more mention of Urban Meyer in this space for the rest of the 2018, including bowl season. We will also keep a running total of donations. While we are on the subject: does anyone know of a good charity? If not, I'll research and we'll reconvene next week.
Not that tOSU is going to make it easy.
“I wouldn't mind a little time in prison, get away from my wife; spend time with guys who get it.”
North Carolina at Miami (FL) (16): Ehhhh.
UCLA at Colorado: A week late, I care not.
The T-shirt! His groin! It works on so many levels! pic.twitter.com/L5vroxY2sm— Dan Lucero (@danluceroshow) September 19, 2018
Louisiana at Alabama (1): Meh, meh-meh-meh, meh.
Syracuse at Clemson (3): Clemson Tom's got vengeance -- and drinking -- on his mind.
I've been looking forward to this game since last year. We have undefeated Syracuse coming to Death Valley. In 2017, Syracuse put their best game together and beat my Tigers. Yes, our starting QB was injured, and we ended up going with our third string guy, but that’s no excuse to lose to some Yankees. I hate Yankees.
Earlier this week, we finally decided to start the freshman phenom, Trevor Lawrence. I ain't gonna lie -- the kid's pretty legit. Our defense should also be ready to serve up some fresh butt whoppings. Honestly this point, I would dress just to lay some Syracuse player out. I ain't scared, y'all. If you think I’m scared, come see me!
My prediction is we hang over 50 points on Syracuse and they fly back home with their tails between their legs. Can we also talk about how a team from New York has an orange as their mascot. How the hell did that even happen? They don't grow oranges there, they only grow hipsters... and hipsters are idiots.
Drink a cold one this weekend, and let’s get after it.
(Note: Submitted before Kelly Bryant's benching and rumored transfer)
West Virginia (12) at Texas Tech (25): Kind of a cool game right here.
Central Michigan at Michigan State (21):
Indiana at Rutgers: What are we actually going to do about this? We can't kick them out, you know. This is like having a dinner party with a dead person sitting in one of the chairs. Could you please pass the gravy? ... /flies buzzing all around the corpse next to you
Tennessee at Georgia (2): Had you ever heard the slur "cake eater" until "The Mighty Ducks" used it to describe the affluently awesome Adam Banks? Have you heard it since? Is it possible Disney legit invented this expression?
(Side bar: Banksy was the absolute GOAT Mighty Duck, and please send all Charlie submissions straight to the gutter.)
Baylor at Oklahoma (6):
We get it Baylor, you vape pic.twitter.com/Qk7MMPMByw— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) September 22, 2018
Pittsburgh at UCF (13): Lovin' this UCF ranking; the boys continue to make noise.
Iowa: Just realized we have a bye week. This is horrible. I need more football to wash out the bad football from last week.
Last 3 punt returns by Iowa:— Chris Hassel (@Hassel_Chris) September 23, 2018
Fair catch inside 3 yard line
This may be how the Big Ten West was lost.
I'm trying to come up with a dumber play by an Iowa player and I can't seem to find one.— The Official Kirk Ferentz Fan Club Account (@PV_GIA) September 23, 2018
/BRAIN AND EVERYTHING ELSE PAINS
We'll always have that one moment. As I said on Twitter, does anything top the QB pointing before throwing on a broken play roll out?
Holy mother of Hayden!!!! pic.twitter.com/9WAgOZi2NT— Chris Hassel (@Hassel_Chris) September 23, 2018
I'll tell you what does not: losing, yet again, to Wisconsin at home.
Rice at Wake Forest: This was overblown.
Wake Forest's kicker Nick Sciba was still practicing when he was supposed to be on the field...— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) September 22, 2018
He still got on in time, but of course, he missed the FG. pic.twitter.com/mkIIQKKhVc
Yes, hilarious that the kicker was late, but he had ample time to set up and miss the kick all on his own. Fortunately (for him), he hit two later in the game.
Purdue at Nebraska: The Heartless Bowl?
Reporter: Chase, what was that cool celebration you did after the sack? Pulling the pin on a grenade?— Noah Neidlinger (@candor_for_sale) September 22, 2018
CW: Nah, eating my own heart.
CW: [continues smiling] pic.twitter.com/fWPQsFDvEn
The Burn Bowl?
Might need a Scott Frosty to ice down the beating Nebraska is taking.#FreshFanReaction— Wendy's (@Wendys) September 22, 2018
Just keeping it real— Wendy's (@Wendys) September 22, 2018
The Burn Bowl. Poor Scott Frost.
Scott Frost has led Nebraska into four games.— Alex Kirshner (@alex_kirshner) September 22, 2018
-first got canceled after kickoff
-down 14-0 to start the second
-down 17-0 to start the third
-down 39-0 to start the fourth https://t.co/Xh2RGB6q7G
Southern Mississippi at Auburn (10): Bleh.
Michigan (14) at Northwestern: Whoa.
Sophomore Jeremy Larkin will retire from football, effective immediately, due to a recent diagnosis of cervical stenosis. The condition is not life threatening but prevents continued participation in football.https://t.co/5BZO8naHCn#B1GCats pic.twitter.com/0XKWqvhd1J— Northwestern Football (@NUFBFamily) September 24, 2018
Happy trails, young man.
* * *
Also: this week's edition of "DPJ vs. Everybody".
Florida at Mississippi State (23): Well, the dream is over (probably). That said, Penn State has a not-so-easy game this week, so the dream could very easily be back on track two days from now.
Utah at Washington State: Not even sure where to start with the Cougs. Did they blow a double digit lead to USC? Yes. Did this happen and not get called? (And upheld by the commissioner!)
Such a damn bummer, man.
Virginia Tech at Duke (22): Wait, Duke's undefeated?
* * *
This Old Dominion TD celebration pic.twitter.com/C3rJooCAep— Abdul Memon (@abdulamemon) September 23, 2018
Ohio State (4) at Penn State (9): Game of the Week. There's nothing quite as good as two undefeated teams you don't like playing one another. Guaranteed loss, yo. Let's keep the hate flowing:
To be honest, doing this makes me happier than scoring pic.twitter.com/Rqpg4cFPpV— Terry McLaurin (@TheTerry_25) September 23, 2018
To be honest... nothing is cooler than scoring.
Stanford (7) at Notre Dame (8): There's nothing quite as good as two undefeated teams you don't like playing one another. Guaranteed loss, yo.
BYU (20) at Washington (11): If BYU takes out Washington and Wisconsin in the same season, I will buy a case of chocolate milk.
Also, the Huskies finally did a cool thing.
South Carolina at Kentucky (17): I, for one, welcome the Duke-Kentucky national title game.
Ole Miss at LSU (5):
Oregon State at Arizona State:
Turnover Gains > Turnover Chains pic.twitter.com/JjfqSjDdaP— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) September 23, 2018
Oregon (19) at California (24): Ducks, I defended you. I believed. I lobbied. And this is what you do?
Somebody frame this pic.twitter.com/LMTdpO2MD1— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) September 23, 2018
Seriously. Oregon had 1st-and-10 with 1:35 to go and Stanford down to one timeout. Kneel on 1st down, Stanford calls TO; subtract 40 seconds after kneeling on 2nd/3rd downs and punt w maybe 15 seconds left. Instead... pic.twitter.com/QYZnSEyzcn— Matt Hinton (@MattRHinton) September 23, 2018
Wrapping It Up...
It's the bye week; this too shall pass.
Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Go Iowa Awesome. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or email to bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com.