THE HYBRID: WE CAN MAKE HIM GONE

By Bobby Loesch on September 27, 2018 at 12:17 pm
Urban Meyer Erased
© Joe Maiorana-USA TODAY Sports
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The Hybrid is a weekly Big Ten football preview, plus relevant or whimsy games from the national slate

It doesn't totally have to be this way.

Chud Urban Meyer is back, and sure, there isn't much we can directly do about it, but after last week's Hybrid, Nerdhawk had a genuinely brilliant idea:

I will donate $100 to the domestic violence prevention charity of your choice if you never reference, mention, cite, allude to, or acknowledge the existence of that dumpster fire of a coach at Ohio State again in this column for the rest of the season. (But hopefully forever.) 

I am in. No more mention of Urban Meyer in this space for the rest of the 2018, including bowl season. We will also keep a running total of donations. While we are on the subject: does anyone know of a good charity? If not, I'll research and we'll reconvene next week.

Not that tOSU is going to make it easy.

The Hybrid

“I wouldn't mind a little time in prison, get away from my wife; spend time with guys who get it.”

Thursday

North Carolina at Miami (FL) (16): Ehhhh.

Friday Night Lights

UCLA at Colorado: A week late, I care not.

Saturday

Louisiana at Alabama (1): Meh, meh-meh-meh, meh.

Syracuse at Clemson (3): Clemson Tom's got vengeance -- and drinking -- on his mind.

I've been looking forward to this game since last year. We have undefeated Syracuse coming to Death Valley. In 2017, Syracuse put their best game together and beat my Tigers. Yes, our starting QB was injured, and we ended up going with our third string guy, but that’s no excuse to lose to some Yankees. I hate Yankees. 

Earlier this week, we finally decided to start the freshman phenom, Trevor Lawrence. I ain't gonna lie -- the kid's pretty legit. Our defense should also be ready to serve up some fresh butt whoppings. Honestly this point, I would dress just to lay some Syracuse player out. I ain't scared, y'all. If you think I’m scared, come see me!

My prediction is we hang over 50 points on Syracuse and they fly back home with their tails between their legs. Can we also talk about how a team from New York has an orange as their mascot. How the hell did that even happen? They don't grow oranges there, they only grow hipsters... and hipsters are idiots.

Drink a cold one this weekend, and let’s get after it.

(Note: Submitted before Kelly Bryant's benching and rumored transfer)

West Virginia (12) at Texas Tech (25): Kind of a cool game right here.

Central Michigan at Michigan State (21):

Indiana at Rutgers: What are we actually going to do about this? We can't kick them out, you know. This is like having a dinner party with a dead person sitting in one of the chairs. Could you please pass the gravy? ... /flies buzzing all around the corpse next to you

Tennessee at Georgia (2): Had you ever heard the slur "cake eater" until "The Mighty Ducks" used it to describe the affluently awesome Adam Banks? Have you heard it since? Is it possible Disney legit invented this expression?

(Side bar: Banksy was the absolute GOAT Mighty Duck, and please send all Charlie submissions straight to the gutter.)

Baylor at Oklahoma (6): 

Pittsburgh at UCF (13): Lovin' this UCF ranking; the boys continue to make noise.

Iowa: Just realized we have a bye week. This is horrible. I need more football to wash out the bad football from last week.

/side pains

/BRAIN AND EVERYTHING ELSE PAINS

We'll always have that one moment. As I said on Twitter, does anything top the QB pointing before throwing on a broken play roll out?

I'll tell you what does not: losing, yet again, to Wisconsin at home.

Rice at Wake Forest: This was overblown.

Yes, hilarious that the kicker was late, but he had ample time to set up and miss the kick all on his own. Fortunately (for him), he hit two later in the game.

Purdue at Nebraska: The Heartless Bowl?

The Burn Bowl?

The Burn Bowl. Poor Scott Frost.

Southern Mississippi at Auburn (10): Bleh.

Michigan (14) at Northwestern: Whoa.

Happy trails, young man.

* * *

Also: this week's edition of "DPJ vs. Everybody".

Florida at Mississippi State (23): Well, the dream is over (probably). That said, Penn State has a not-so-easy game this week, so the dream could very easily be back on track two days from now.

Utah at Washington State: Not even sure where to start with the Cougs. Did they blow a double digit lead to USC? Yes. Did this happen and not get called? (And upheld by the commissioner!)

Duh.

Such a damn bummer, man.

Virginia Tech at Duke (22): Wait, Duke's undefeated?

* * *

Ohio State (4) at Penn State (9): Game of the Week. There's nothing quite as good as two undefeated teams you don't like playing one another. Guaranteed loss, yo. Let's keep the hate flowing:

To be honest... nothing is cooler than scoring.

Stanford (7) at Notre Dame (8): There's nothing quite as good as two undefeated teams you don't like playing one another. Guaranteed loss, yo.

BYU (20) at Washington (11): If BYU takes out Washington and Wisconsin in the same season, I will buy a case of chocolate milk.

Also, the Huskies finally did a cool thing.

South Carolina at Kentucky (17): I, for one, welcome the Duke-Kentucky national title game.

Ole Miss at LSU (5): 

Oregon State at Arizona State: 

Haha.

Oregon (19) at California (24): Ducks, I defended you. I believed. I lobbied. And this is what you do?

whyyy

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Wrapping It Up...

It's the bye week; this too shall pass.

Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Go Iowa Awesome. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or email to bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com.

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