THE HYBRID: SAY HELL YEAH TO LIFE

By Bobby Loesch on October 18, 2018 at 12:01 pm
WAZZU, BABY
© James Snook-USA TODAY Sports
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The Hybrid is a weekly Big Ten football preview, plus relevant or whimsy games from the national slate

GameDay to Pullman, Michigan-Michigan State, and I'm comin' to IC this weekend. This is college football. This is life.

The Hybrid

Thursday

Stanford at Arizona State: Stanford's demise continues to benefit me in every way -- good for Wazzu, good for Michigan's lame OL/TE recruiting -- yet... there's a weird, void-y feeling about how it played out. I wanted to be the one to send David Shaw into the lonely abyss. Me*!

(* - men much greater than me without my fears)

Friday Night Lights

N/A

Saturday

Michigan (6) at Michigan State (24): Hello, Devin.

You don't say. Besides, like, that quote, it's been a pretty quiet lead up to a typically hate-filled game. They tried to bait Harbaugh, and he started talking kinda biblical:

"I think we could all use a break from the cliches that have been plowed so thoroughly on both sides," he said. 

Now he's crazy, but Dantonio is salty. And petty. And spiteful. He reminds me of the quote "An elephant never forgets... to kill." But even he is staying out of it. Marky D. heaped praise on M and said the Wolverines deserve to be ranked in the Top 10. Makes me sick.

Fortunately my good buddy Mark C. (not related to Mark D. but a Spartan as well) sent me a Freep (/vomits onto laptop then slams laptop shut so vomit slightly comes out the sides) article about how Michigan State fans should root for Michigan. It was a hate read for the ages (ehhhh, morning).

Sports writers root for only three things: Marriott points, quick games and flight bumps.

/greases palms

We’re never supposed to root for the teams we cover. But I’m making an exception this week.

I’m rooting for Michigan to beat Michigan State on Saturday.

I'm a Michigan fan, so this seems fair. But what about Sparty bros and brahs?

And you should, too. Even if your blood runs greener than green and you hate Michigan so much you ignore yellow traffic lights and anyone who has jaundice.

Yeah yo, but why?

Here’s the reason we all should root for the Wolverines: Michigan has a much better chance than Michigan State does to qualify for the College Football Playoff, make college football relevant in our state in November and strengthen the Big Ten by reminding everyone it’s more than a one-team conference.

Conference pride!!! BA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

If you’re a State fan, your blood’s probably boiling right now. Wishing that Michigan does well against your team isn’t anathema, it’s blasphemy. You probably hope they never win another game, disband the team, tear down their stadium and salt the Earth so that never grows there again.

/ropes me back in

The reality is Michigan is a national brand in a way MSU will never be. But it’s a fading one, with the excitement and luster of Harbaugh’s hire fading with each disappointing season that has brought the Wolverines no closer to a national championship or even regularly contending for one.

lol, this article actually might be great and I'm now agreeing with everything

"The reality is you don't matter and never mattered -- and Michigan barely matters"

Maybe this is cynical on my part, but I get a sense the CFP selection committee would love nothing more than to have Notre Dame in the semifinals, along with perennial bankable favorites Alabama and Ohio State with ***** ***** chasing redemption in the form of football glory.

"Maybe it's me, but soulless, money hungry suits *might* want more money"

Running the table and beating Ohio State would virtually lock up a spot in the College Football Playoff for Michigan. Now imagine U-M making a run even after that. In the Big Ten Championship. In the CFP. Imagine a national title. It would change the conversation and tilt the landscape. It would raise the bar not only at Michigan, but also at Michigan State.

In conclusion: Sparty, please root for your rival to beat you and win the national title*. Because in a sport rooted in fire-breathing-death-stomp hate, you'll surely understand this point of view.

(* - in his defense, I have a similar take about Iowa State but certainly would never expect us to root for them while playing Iowa; insanity)

So yeah. It's definitely a good thing MSU knocked off Penn State last week. They're clearly dangerous and capable, and now them winning will be no surprise. But god damn it -- this year feels like Michigan's; banana boys be damned.

Bryan Mac gets the last word because Graham Couch is an idiot's idiot.

Oklahoma (9) at TCU: The Sooners are ranked so high, you'da thought they won the Texas game. TCU, meanwhile, isn't exactly putting the pieces together.

Maryland at Iowa (19): Tried to tell y'all Iowa is cool now. And pleeeeeease stick with this one until the end:

And then this one:

That TD led to me tweeting an ill advised "Nate Dogg, holy shit!" which even later-on-drunker-me thought "Yeah, let's delete that."

Cincinnati (20) at Temple: Sure, Cincy is undefeated, but... they ain't played nobody.

Illinois at Wisconsin (23): It all started so promising for Wisconsin...

Then, well...

Sleep soundly -- Horny got his revenge.

Chase got over it.

* * *

Also: Illinois fans... why is Lovie so bad? Recruiting? In game coaching? I know the sports are different and certainly am aware of the passage of time, but it's nuts that a Super Bowl coach could fail to get any traction on the collegiate level. Yes, I am a biased Bears fan who'd love to see him succeed, but the Freep also taught me to respect conference pride, damn it. We really should be in no hurry to shovel dirt on the dude, but it's looking worse and worse every day.

Northwestern at Rutgers: It's 'bout to get electric.

* * *

The recent MGoPodcast pointed out some fun Rutgers moments from last week against Maryland.

- Starting QB Artur Sitkowski went 2/16 for 8 yards and 4 picks

- They then put in QB2, Giovanni Rescigno, who threw once... but also had it picked

- They also failed to field a normal kickoff and lost the ball to MD

- /sigh

Alabama (1) at Tennessee: The Tide continue to be No. 1 on the field, yet No. 1,000 in our hearts:

Saban's follow up quote was super normal but also came off vague and weird:

“I visited with commissioner Sankey about Raekwon’s actions,” Saban said Monday. “We will handle that internally. We will have him do some things. I think it should affect his playing time in the future.”

To his credit, the Mizzou dude diffused the hell out of the situation:

NC State (13) at Clemson (3): Game of the Week (though not even Top 3 for me personally). Damn, the Wolfpack shot right up there, didn't they?

/checks schedule

OK, so they did have the West Virginia game cancelled. But yeah, undefeated otherwise.

Clemson Tom goes in:

Let me explain something to y’all before I get into this week's match up: Dave Doeren is the biggest jackass in college football right now. And that’s saying a lot. Last year, after we took him to the woodshed, he complained Clemson had a laptop on the sidelines which somehow gave us an advantage. Yes, we did have a laptop -- it belonged to our social media department. That was his excuse for losing: Twitter and a computer. Also in that game, one of their coaches shoved one of our players who ran out of bounds. A year before that, one of their coaches pushed DeShaun Watson as he ran out of bounds. Year before that, well, I think you’re getting the picture.

I despise the Wolfpack. I despise their coach. I despise how he dresses like some random out there trying to coach football. The SOB wears a t-shirt. Just a t-shirt. It’s like the AD met him at Walmart as he was shopping for Wolfpack gear and offered him a job. It’s embarrassing.

That being said, I have a feeling Dabo is going to unleash hell and high water. They always play us close, though. I mean, I really hate this team. Their players are already trash talking like they’re gonna win the AFC East or something. 

Their fans aren’t cool either. They can catch an ass whipping too if they keep throwing stuff at our fans.

I hate ‘em.

That might have entered Silky Johnson territory.

Colorado at Washington (15): QUACK QUACK QUACK, Huskies. How'd that L feel? Goodbye.

Penn State (18) at Indiana: Meh.

Minnesota at Nebraska: I continue to not actively seek out Nebraska trolling, but it finds me.

This, of course, is on all of you.

Mississippi State (22) at LSU (5): Sick of trusting Mississippi State to do anything. LSU righted that ship real quick.

UCF (10) at East Carolina: Keep it going, keep it going, keep it going, full steam.

UConn at South Florida (21): South Florida is undefeated... very good for them. But, because I have nothing to say about South Florida, and the Clones are on bye, this goes here:

I beat the drum for ISU constantly and very rarely get rewarded, so this was nice. Not as nice... Holgerson off the top rope!

It's easy to make fun of Holgorsen and his bad hair, and I generally fall on the side of "don't rush the field (especially if you're favored [Iowa what's your problem])", but ISU took out an undefeated Top 10 team with a Heisman candidate at the helm. Rush! Rush, I say! That said, in our increasingly high security society, I am surprised more awful shit doesn't happen when this occurs, so he kinda-sorta still has a point.

Ohio State (2) at Purdue: GIA. We continue to make big strides in our goal of donating $1,000 to the Domestic Violence Intervention Program. After getting halfway there in the first week, we crossed the $700 mark this week with donations from Paige (a New Yorker and Miami Hurricanes fan who still wanted to help us), Dave Hartig (Virginia, stand way up), and Nick, the HawkeyeCurmudgeon (who, if you ask me, isn't curmudgeonly at all).

Previous donors: TherealCatnuts, Karl S., Nerdhawk, Joanne, Andrew, and cha boyyyy

Oregon (12) at Washington State (25): when you generally find motorcycles loud, pointless, and intolerable especially synced to bad songs yet GAMEDAY IS FINALLY COMIN' TO PULLMAN VROOOOOOOM VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Coug Center provided some great context for all of this:

It’s happening. It’s actually happening. My phone blew up Saturday night with variations of “THIS IS NOT A DRILL” after Kirk Herbstriet let the college football world know that the city GameDay would next be rolling into was none other than, Pullman, USA. After 15 years and 216 consecutive appearances, Ol’ Crimson will be on display in its home. I honestly thought this day would never come — the logistics were too hard, the Cougs were always having to compete with a potentially more convenient Central or Eastern time zone game. Yet, here we are, and I couldn’t be more excited.

They also linked to a cool graphic that shows all of the GameDay locations/conferences in totality since the Wazzu flag started appearing; really coulda sworn they were in IC more than just that once (UPDATE: Per B-Stiles/Ross, it has).

I am hype.

Wrapping It Up...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111

Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Go Iowa Awesome. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or email to bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com.

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