The Hybrid: Donny Got A Scholarship

By Bobby Loesch on November 14, 2019 at 12:15 pm
© Patrick Gorski-USA TODAY Sports
DONNY FOREVER
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The Hybrid is a weekly Big Ten football preview, plus relevant or whimsy games from the national slate

Yeah, same.

Though, last week, college football definitely gave us something. Sure, Iowa lost and Michigan rotted, but Bama-LSU still feels fresh even now, and what a fantastic, forever loss by Sparty.

And who knew Minnesota could bring us (me?) joy from something like this?

Minimal joy, thinking about P.J. Fleck getting the national spotlight thrust on his overeager eyes, but still some joy.

Plus a few more things -- let's get started.

The Hybrid

“There are no bad bourbons, only better bourbons.”

Tuesday

Western Michigan at Ohio: Wait till you see it.

Wednesday

Northern Illinois at Toledo: Dumping all my Illinois stuff here because they're on bye.

First and foremost: look who got a scholarship?!?!

Double banner.

DONNY YEAHHH
DONNY YEAH AGAIN

Our man also led Illinois in receptions (7) in its upset of Michigan State.

Excuse me, historic upset of Michigan State. Even fired up god himself.

<3 <3 <3

Thursday

/shrug

Friday Night Lights

N/A

Saturday

Alabama (5) at Mississippi State: ohhhhh this was good

But was it "LSU players raiding the Bama student section" good?

Probably better than this.

Yet...

I mean, they've made the Playoff every year since its existence. Every year. How damn impressive is that? Being in the mix is just as hard -- if not harder -- than notching the one title. Hell, we fondly remember 2015 because we got one game away from that. And that was once!

Coach O, we'll get to you later, but is there anything you want to add just as it pertains to Alabama?

Hahaha.

Ha-hahahahaha.

Indiana at Penn State (9): Hi, Penn State. We see you've blown your season to... /checks notes... Minnesota? Rough one.

/minion whispers in ear

So all they gotta do is beat tOSU, and they'll basically be all the way back in the mix?

/whispering intensifies

DAMN IT.

Florida (11) at Missouri: No, not at all.

Michigan State at Michigan (15): The only thing better than Michigan playing on college football Saturdays is Michigan not playing on college football Saturdays. Bye weeks for-damn-ever. Keep them away from the battlefield.

And microphones.

How are we still having to call this stuff out?

Not that it's going much better in East Lansing.

Eek.

Yes, that is the lesson of the last decade of brain research.

Let's end on a note of pseudo-feminism.

UMass at Northwestern: 

Navy (23) at Notre Dame (16): Z.W. Martin is still banished from the column, so we can only preview ND-Navy in the best way I know how.

Not good enough?

/searches cabinet for more ingredients

Ah.

/chef's kiss

Coastal Carolina at Arkansas State: Arkansas is off this week, so this goes here.

Ohio State (2) at Rutgers:

The Chase Young scandal really encompassed the sport perfectly. Frivolous NCAA bullshit, hatred of hatey hate rivals, and, as always, tOSU gaming the system perfectly.

...

Even more impressed.

Wake Forest at Clemson (3): Clemson Tom sent me an email with the subject "Wake", so more than a small part of me thought someone fucking died.

Can I just ask a random question? Does this Playoff committee even pay attention to the games? Because they put all these rankings out there, but they know nothing about football. What a bunch of clowns.

Anyways, my Clemson Tigers are still undefeated and are going to whip the brakes [ep- brakes can be whipped too?] off Wake Forest. I feel like, every week, I say the exact same thing, but when your team constantly lays the smackdown on everybody they play, there’s only so much trash talk I can put out there.

How about this: Georgia should not even be in the Top 5. They lost to a miserable South Carolina team at home. Georgia is going to lose to Auburn this week but, somehow, the committee will at least keep them in the Top 10. Minnesota should be up there a little bit higher. Oregon needs to get their offense together. The committee needs to be fired, and we need to start over.

The most laughable thing ever in South Carolina keeping Will Muschamp and even giving him an extension. We are also watching the decline of Alabama. They've lost to the last two decent teams they've played. The tide is changing.

Trevor Lawrence for Heisman. Dabo for president. I’m loving this cold weather.

I asked what "cold weather" was, and he responded "50s."

Not even Trevor's dancing could cheer me up.

Georgia (4) at Auburn (12): Game of the Week. Thought CT is right -- this feels like Auburn's to lose, no?

Texas (19) at Iowa State: Thought the Clones played Texas last week before remembering it was Oklahoma. And my goodness, the content it spawned.

After Oklahoma's mascot was lying face down in the stand (in shame), this happened:

Then, they cut to a gal who, of course, performed an emphatic horns down. Texas is like "What did we do to get dragged into this?!" Nothing, fellas -- but hate in college football knows no bounds. SO HORNS DOWN, BOYS.

Crossfire casualty.

Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech:

Haha.

Minnesota (8) at Iowa (20): No. 20... seems a little high, doesn't it?

Listen, I know you're all probably down on the Hawks right now, but I want everyone going into this game with a FUTW mentality.

Like, win or lose, I want your squad to look like this when it's all said and done:

Because maybe, this time, things can go different in a big game.

Maybe.

I mean, look -- we're favored. Let's send P.J. Fleck back to the tundra hell he chose.

I want you walking in and out of Kinnick exactly like this:

Stanford at Washington State: I wish David Shaw and me were alive to see this.

LSU (1) at Ole Miss: WHO DAT SAID DEM TIGERS COULD TAKE OUT DA TIDE LAY-SAY BON TOM ROO-LAY

What a damn win. If you were too Big Ten to watch, I implore you to check out some highlights.

In all seriousness, I'm lost in a swirl of not knowing if we should praise Joey Burrow, the RB, or Coach O.

Let's start with QB1.

He's keeping good perspective.

Burrow summed up his exuberance after taking licks this way: "I enjoy getting hit. It makes me feel like a real football player instead of a quarterback." 

Real good perspective.

Though, wow -- couldn't blame him if he didn't.

But legit, look at this CEH (does... anyone call him that?) stat:

That's me, and I'm getting a sash that doesn't come off for at least five years.

Louisville at NC State:

UCLA at Utah (7): Absolutely ready for the Pac-12 to be back into the mix after being buried so early in the season. Reeks of the year tOSU lost to Virginia Tech and Clay Travis went legendary.

They won the national title.

Arizona at Oregon (6): Got nothing on this one, so let's get you up to speed on my college fantasy football league. We lost in last week of the regular season to finish up 5-6... but backdoored our way into the playoffs! Rondale remains hurt, and our big issue is figuring out Stanley vs. the Sconnie QB. If we win, we're in the final four (top two seeds get a bye).

UPDATE: We decided to bench Stanley.

Wrapping It Up...

Had to.

Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Go Iowa Awesome. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or email to bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com.

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