The Hybrid: I Love Your Favorites

By Bobby Loesch on December 3, 2020 at 12:31 pm
2020 Wrapped
51 Comments

The Hybrid is a weekly Big Ten football preview, plus relevant or whimsy games from the national slate

Favorites are like birthdays -- they are the shit.

I don't care if it's my birthday or someone else's birthday; I am all in. Favorites (or, if we're being real, top fives) work the same way. I've read books, watched movies... shit, even visited places across the damn ocean because someone said it impacted them.

Out of all the things in this world, this was your favorite of that specific thing.

I had a boss in 2002 mention her favorite movie being "The Sound of Music". I saved that thing like a weird bottle of wine and finally watched it 14 years later. She was the first person I reached out to after.

My first favorite was probably Donatello (wish I was talking about the sculptor).

Donatello

Did I like purple? Eh. Gravitate toward science? Big no there. It was the bo staff he carried. You see, I'm a big consolidator, and it always seemed annoying to carry two weapons around like the three other ninja turtles. Sign me up for pizza and one tool, please.

I have a favorite moon phase (waxing gibbous; it basically does all the heavy lifting a full moon does with way less credit), big cat (cheetah speed all day), and even have segmented places to live each season if money were no object (Hawaii in the winter, California in the spring, Chicago in the summer, Ann Arbor -- or IC! -- in the fall).

So yeah, I have an appetite for this. And it's good to know there are people out there like me.

The backlash does not make sense.

Yes -- stay equipped with that one and tell me it won't serve you.

I had a coworker whose Spotify wrapped was normal stuff like Drake and Kendrick but his top played song was "Box Fan Rest Sound" by Fan Sounds. No, that's not a Pitchfork band -- his wife uses the ambient noise to sleep. I thought about Fan Sounds all day and sent his hilarious screenshot to, like, six people.

Don't play with me.

I've tracked my music listening in some capacity going back to 1996. It kinda reminds me of that quote from (likely super-problematic and dated now) High Fidelity:

High Fidelity

(Did I work in a record store for nine years? Yes.)

I even have a list compiled of my favorite concert every year going back to 2000.

2018: Complainer/Foxing/Joyce Manor at BLED FEST in Howell, MI

2017: Jawbreaker at Riot Fest in Chicago, IL

2016: Carly Rae Jepsen at Turner Hall in Milwaukee, WI

2015: The Penske File at Quenchers Saloon in Chicago, IL

2014: The Menzingers and PUP at Bottom Lounge in Chicago, IL

2013: The Lawrence Arms, Masked Intruder, Downtown Struts, and Direct Hit! at Concord Music Hall in Chicago, Illinois on New Year's Eve

2012: The Menzingers at Beat Kitchen in Chicago, IL

2011: Jay-Z & Kanye West "Watch The Throne" at the United Center in Chicago, IL

2010: The Hold Steady at 123 Pleasant Street in Morgantown, WV

2009: Jay-Z at Charter One Pavillion in Chicago, IL

2008: Against Me!, Serj Tankian, and the Foo Fighters at the Mid America Center in Council Bluffs, IA

2007: Sundowner, The Forecast, and Smoke Or Fire at The Cubby Bear in Chicago, IL

2006: The Lawrence Arms at Illinois Wesleyan in Bloomington, IL & Saves The Day (acoustic) at Warped Tour in Tinley Park, IL

2005: Alkaline Trio at Pop's in Sauget, IL

2004: Bad Religion at Warped Tour in Tinley Park, IL

2003: Local H at Founder's Fest at Illinois Benedictine in Lisle, IL

2002: NOFX at Warped Tour in Tinley Park, IL

2001: The Dog & Everything at the Riverwalk in Naperville, IL

2000: Lucky Boys Confusion at the Last Fling in Naperville, IL

But these aren't shows -- they're stories, memories, experiences. And I mean that in the lamest (and most earnest) way possible. 2000 was the first time I ever crowd surfed. I remember trying to do French homework at the dining room table later that day thinking "How could I be doing this when I was just doing that?" 2002 was the first time I was ever brought to tears by live music (ohhhh and definitely not the last). 2005 was a buddy basically tricking me into going to St. Louis for that show from the Chicago suburbs (though Sauger is technically IL, seeing The Arch as we rolled up told a different tale). 2008 was me standing in for a buddy's ex after they broke up. 2009 was god in the flesh. 2014 cracked my phone in the pit. 2017 was a redemption story like no other.

I could go on -- and do, if allowed.

So send me your Spotify shit. Post it. Story it. Tweet it and god damn fleet it. I will care, I will define you, and shit will be spun.

But do you have a favorite *favorite*?

"The Great Gatsby" -- next question.

The Hybrid

“There’s no shame in coming in second, except in, like, wars.”

Tuesday-Thursday
Friday Night Lights

N/A

Cancelled

Northwestern (14) at Minnesota:

We need to start saying "Thank you Minnesota" ironically more.

* * *

/nods solemnly

Maryland at Michigan: I hope everyone within the Michigan football progr'm is safe, happy, and healthy, but purely from a game perspective, yesssssssssssssssssssss. More time to dream.

Sadly, every dream ends with reality.

Painful, painful reality.

I need a pep talk.

No, never from you ever.

I SAID NEVER FROM YOU NOOOOOOO.

Good lord, we are coached by Jeb Bush.

Ehhhh, maybe Jeb coulda gotten Ohio State once.

Still, dreams.

(You might be right, but do not even go there.)

This section is now over.

Saturday

Ohio State (4) at Michigan State: Oh, Barry.

Let's quickly survey the rest of the Big Ten on this polic--

Texas A&M (5) at Auburn: /scans A&M's schedule to confirm fraudulent

Lost to 'Bama by 28 but did beat Florida by three. No other wins of note. OK, A&M -- you can stay.

Oklahoma State (15) at TCU:

Yeah, that looked like a fun one.

Nebraska at Purdue: Nebraska, you say? Ohhh, I got stuff.

Motion to start calling him Play4Scott?

Haha.

This seriously has to be what it's like for Ohio State to play Michigan, right?

Also, this one got me the most, and I don't owe anyone an explanation.

Penn State at Rutgers:

Such an effectively deployed meme.

Liberty at Coastal Carolina (18): Almost wrote "Coastal still coasting" before catching the dumbness. Fun fact: their mascot is the Chanticleers.

/googles chanticleers

noun LITERARY
a name given to a rooster, especially in fairy tales.

Haha. I love them.

(UPDATE: This game = he gone; Coastal is now playing No. 13 BYU... very cool.)

Syracuse at Notre Dame (2): I've always fucked with Ian Book, so I'll give ND Nation this.

But we will not be concede here:

I'm by no means Mr. Asterisk, but let's not act like beating Clemson's QB2 and playing a shortened schedule against no fans is the same thing as making a conference championship game in normal circumstances, which is only for sacred and elite teams like Northwestern.

But seriously, they beat Clemson again, and I'll shut the fuck up. Until then, I will not be "taking a moment." Fuck them.

Florida (6) at Tennessee: This SEC regular season will not end. Here is a potato.

West Virginia at Iowa State (9): HOOK 'EM, CLONES!

Heard it's 99% they'll play in the conference title game, though I'm sure there are a lot of you more interested in exploring that 1%.

Indiana (12) at Wisconsin (16): Remember the Penix Posse? Yeah, we had fun over here.

Iowa (19) at Illinois: Your homework is to watch and protect Donny this week.

Though I'm not sure he's topping that.

* * *

Also, hate to be the wet blanket on what's actually turning into a fun Iowa season, but... we are really gonna pay for these two things at some point.

Buffalo at Ohio: Legit thought something went wrong here.

Or, honestly, here.

Vanderbilt at Georgia (8): Was in the middle of typing "No" (Georgia's fault) before realizing we got Vandy in the mix.

WHAT UP, SARAH?

Whoever thought the glass ceiling would get cracked with a pooch?

Also: a royal fuck you to anyone who was actually mad about her winning SEC Special Teams Player of the Week. At first, I thought these were strawperson arguments until seeing Clay Travis (of course) Mad Online, as if some dumbass is going to be scanning the record books in 2085 like "I tell you, this does not seem like a valid choice for the Week 13 2020 SEC Special Teams Player of the Week, by George!"

Miss me with all of that.

(And yes, in my future, everyone has British accents for some reason.)

Stanford at Washington: Not continuing to track this game was a baaaaad choice.

Also, really hope this person is OK.

This and the Nate Robinson knockout were around the same time. Not a good night for brain safety, oof.

So yeah, the Huskies are 3-0 with one cancellation, so all we can do for now is clown their basketball team.

San Jose State at Hawai'i: 

Purposefully didn't look this up because it needs to be true.

Oregon (23) at California: So, the Oregon dream is over. Feels like two weeks ago at this point.

Colorado at Arizona: Should the Wildcats have been our squad all along?

Clemson (3) at Virginia Tech: Clemson Tom always leads this section, but this pick was too damn cool to not be first.

OK, now the Mouth of the South:

You guys probably think I'm gonna come in here and say what I typically say every week about who we're gonna play and how bad we’re gonna beat them. However, I’m not gonna start it off like that! On Saturday night, when we play the Virginia Tech Hokies, we will clinch the ACC championship game -- and a revenge game against those pansies from Indiana, Notre Dame!

The good thing is, on December 12, both teams will have a bye week. That was the same Saturday that we were supposed to reschedule Florida State before they "quit on the season". Yeah, I said it.

Let’s gear up for the remaining football season as we get told for the millionth time that Alabama is the greatest thing that's ever been assembled and could beat any team that's ever played this glorious game of football. Alabama is suspect, as I feel you can throw the ball all over their defense.

I just want to beat those idiots from Notre Dame who ironically should be playing in the Big Ten. Speaking of the Big Ten, how about Ohio State? Ha ha Ha ha ha losers.

I love him.

Alabama (1) at LSU: tfw you realize this game will not be 10% as good as 2019 'Bama-LSU

The Tide... might be on a mission here.

Washington State at USC (20): This is actually on Sunday night (?), so it should've had its own section, but since when has anyone ever done anything special for the Cougs?

But hmmmm.

Wrapping It Up...

And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. 

Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Go Iowa Awesome. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or email to bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com.

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