The Hybrid is a weekly Big Ten football preview, plus relevant or whimsy games from the national slate
Favorites are like birthdays -- they are the shit.
I don't care if it's my birthday or someone else's birthday; I am all in. Favorites (or, if we're being real, top fives) work the same way. I've read books, watched movies... shit, even visited places across the damn ocean because someone said it impacted them.
Out of all the things in this world, this was your favorite of that specific thing.
I had a boss in 2002 mention her favorite movie being "The Sound of Music". I saved that thing like a weird bottle of wine and finally watched it 14 years later. She was the first person I reached out to after.
My first favorite was probably Donatello (wish I was talking about the sculptor).
Did I like purple? Eh. Gravitate toward science? Big no there. It was the bo staff he carried. You see, I'm a big consolidator, and it always seemed annoying to carry two weapons around like the three other ninja turtles. Sign me up for pizza and one tool, please.
I have a favorite moon phase (waxing gibbous; it basically does all the heavy lifting a full moon does with way less credit), big cat (cheetah speed all day), and even have segmented places to live each season if money were no object (Hawaii in the winter, California in the spring, Chicago in the summer, Ann Arbor -- or IC! -- in the fall).
So yeah, I have an appetite for this. And it's good to know there are people out there like me.
I just want to everyone to know that I look at every single Spotify wrapped. Keep em coming— courtney (@cbomb12) December 2, 2020
The backlash does not make sense.
Bitches be posting nobody cares about your Spotify wrapped and then post a pic of their baby ???— ALEX (@AlexJackHowell) December 2, 2020
Yes -- stay equipped with that one and tell me it won't serve you.
I had a coworker whose Spotify wrapped was normal stuff like Drake and Kendrick but his top played song was "Box Fan Rest Sound" by Fan Sounds. No, that's not a Pitchfork band -- his wife uses the ambient noise to sleep. I thought about Fan Sounds all day and sent his hilarious screenshot to, like, six people.
Imagine if there was a Venmo Wrapped— Harry Hill (@veryharryhill) December 2, 2020
Don't play with me.
I've tracked my music listening in some capacity going back to 1996. It kinda reminds me of that quote from (likely super-problematic and dated now) High Fidelity:
(Did I work in a record store for nine years? Yes.)
I even have a list compiled of my favorite concert every year going back to 2000.
2018: Complainer/Foxing/Joyce Manor at BLED FEST in Howell, MI
2017: Jawbreaker at Riot Fest in Chicago, IL
2016: Carly Rae Jepsen at Turner Hall in Milwaukee, WI
2015: The Penske File at Quenchers Saloon in Chicago, IL
2014: The Menzingers and PUP at Bottom Lounge in Chicago, IL
2013: The Lawrence Arms, Masked Intruder, Downtown Struts, and Direct Hit! at Concord Music Hall in Chicago, Illinois on New Year's Eve
2012: The Menzingers at Beat Kitchen in Chicago, IL
2011: Jay-Z & Kanye West "Watch The Throne" at the United Center in Chicago, IL
2010: The Hold Steady at 123 Pleasant Street in Morgantown, WV
2009: Jay-Z at Charter One Pavillion in Chicago, IL
2008: Against Me!, Serj Tankian, and the Foo Fighters at the Mid America Center in Council Bluffs, IA
2007: Sundowner, The Forecast, and Smoke Or Fire at The Cubby Bear in Chicago, IL
2006: The Lawrence Arms at Illinois Wesleyan in Bloomington, IL & Saves The Day (acoustic) at Warped Tour in Tinley Park, IL
2005: Alkaline Trio at Pop's in Sauget, IL
2004: Bad Religion at Warped Tour in Tinley Park, IL
2003: Local H at Founder's Fest at Illinois Benedictine in Lisle, IL
2002: NOFX at Warped Tour in Tinley Park, IL
2001: The Dog & Everything at the Riverwalk in Naperville, IL
2000: Lucky Boys Confusion at the Last Fling in Naperville, IL
But these aren't shows -- they're stories, memories, experiences. And I mean that in the lamest (and most earnest) way possible. 2000 was the first time I ever crowd surfed. I remember trying to do French homework at the dining room table later that day thinking "How could I be doing this when I was just doing that?" 2002 was the first time I was ever brought to tears by live music (ohhhh and definitely not the last). 2005 was a buddy basically tricking me into going to St. Louis for that show from the Chicago suburbs (though Sauger is technically IL, seeing The Arch as we rolled up told a different tale). 2008 was me standing in for a buddy's ex after they broke up. 2009 was god in the flesh. 2014 cracked my phone in the pit. 2017 was a redemption story like no other.
I could go on -- and do, if allowed.
So send me your Spotify shit. Post it. Story it. Tweet it and god damn fleet it. I will care, I will define you, and shit will be spun.
But do you have a favorite *favorite*?
"The Great Gatsby" -- next question.
“There’s no shame in coming in second, except in, like, wars.”
Northwestern (14) at Minnesota:
Thank you Minnesota. pic.twitter.com/ANVtBYnCdr— Rashod Bateman (@R_bateman2) November 25, 2020
We need to start saying "Thank you Minnesota" ironically more.
* * *
The Big Ten basically did everything wrong this year, from being bullied into playing, to promising rigorous protocols that basically fell apart minutes after the first weekend, to having bad and uninteresting teams, to giving Northwestern grads something to be excited about.— Joel D. Anderson (@byjoelanderson) November 28, 2020
Maryland at Michigan: I hope everyone within the Michigan football progr'm is safe, happy, and healthy, but purely from a game perspective, yesssssssssssssssssssss. More time to dream.
Lets get this hype train off the rails! pic.twitter.com/PVaqkuDwR9— Mike (@bluemike5577) November 27, 2020
Sadly, every dream ends with reality.
You have to go 6 inches. Everyone knows the play call. And youre gonna block this guy with this guy. pic.twitter.com/0chUihShVb— Bryan Mac (@Bry_Mac) November 28, 2020
Painful, painful reality.
Jim Harbaugh was as close to a sure thing as exists in college football coach hiring. Dream candidate with program ties, pro and college success, and a desire to be there. And he's gonna lose to 0-5 Penn State to fall to 2-4 on the year.— Alex Kirshner (@alex_kirshner) November 28, 2020
Never dream. Eat at Arby's
I need a pep talk.
Jim Harbaugh trying to keep locker room morale up after losing at home to 0-5 Penn State pic.twitter.com/4iLdCnRRDt— Heavens! (@HeavensFX) November 28, 2020
No, never from you ever.
Highest Paid CFB Coaches— Joe Pompliano (@JoePompliano) November 28, 2020
Nick Saban: $9.1M
Ed Orgeron: $8.7M
Dabo Swinney: $8.3M
Jim Harbaugh: $8M
The interesting part?
Saban, Swinney & Orgeron have won the last 3 National Championships, while Harbaugh just lost by double digits to an 0-5 Penn State team.
I SAID NEVER FROM YOU NOOOOOOO.
When freshman receiver A.J. Henning leapt over a Nittany Lions defender to make a highlight-reel catch, Harbaugh had to turn towards a group of players sitting on the bench and tell them to stand up and cheer. Yikes. https://t.co/LeN27hwskY— SGR (@sgeorgetter) November 29, 2020
Good lord, we are coached by Jeb Bush.
Enough is enough! pic.twitter.com/5DHEmmwLPm— Brian Griese (@briangriese) November 29, 2020
Ehhhh, maybe Jeb coulda gotten Ohio State once.
Souperman pic.twitter.com/iJX8jlReqk— Wolverine Corner (@WolverineCorner) December 1, 2020
You know Michigan is not going to fire Harbaugh, right?— Juwan Howard Stan Account (@EricPetee2) November 30, 2020
(You might be right, but do not even go there.)
Jim Harbaugh insulted Michigan fans this week with this nonsense & doesn't sound like a guy who's going anywhere: https://t.co/yHKZy5IYIL— OutKick (@Outkick) December 1, 2020
This section is now over.
Ohio State (4) at Michigan State: Oh, Barry.
Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez, who chaired the Big Tens return-to-play task force, had interesting comments today about Big Ten possibly having to reconsider its requirements for championship (with OSU in mind) From a conversation w The Detroit News today.... pic.twitter.com/CIKEDxyELI— angelique (@chengelis) December 2, 2020
Let's quickly survey the rest of the Big Ten on this polic--
Texas A&M (5) at Auburn: /scans A&M's schedule to confirm fraudulent
Lost to 'Bama by 28 but did beat Florida by three. No other wins of note. OK, A&M -- you can stay.
Oklahoma State (15) at TCU:
I hope his name is Pete pic.twitter.com/xIooRPull0— PodKATT (@valleyshook) November 28, 2020
Yeah, that looked like a fun one.
Nebraska at Purdue: Nebraska, you say? Ohhh, I got stuff.
It's time for the update. Through 29 games....— Ben Dawson (@BenjaminJDawson) November 27, 2020
Scott Frost: 10-19 .355 winning percentage
Tim Brewster: 11-18 .379 winning percentage
Motion to start calling him Play4Scott?
Iowa PK Keith Duncan on hearing Nebraska pregame chatter that came his way: I think theyre (more) worried about growing mustaches than playing football.— Chad Leistikow (@ChadLeistikow) November 27, 2020
And this is how Iowa beat Nebraska for a 6th straight time pic.twitter.com/ZQYCinpFpt— Chris Hassel (@Hassel_Chris) November 27, 2020
This seriously has to be what it's like for Ohio State to play Michigan, right?
Also, this one got me the most, and I don't owe anyone an explanation.
Penn State at Rutgers:
Big win in Ann Arbor today. pic.twitter.com/3BWR0wOXxh— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) November 28, 2020
Such an effectively deployed meme.
Liberty at Coastal Carolina (18): Almost wrote "Coastal still coasting" before catching the dumbness. Fun fact: their mascot is the Chanticleers.
a name given to a rooster, especially in fairy tales.
Haha. I love them.
(UPDATE: This game = he gone; Coastal is now playing No. 13 BYU... very cool.)
Syracuse at Notre Dame (2): I've always fucked with Ian Book, so I'll give ND Nation this.
Ian. Book.— ESPN (@espn) November 27, 2020
Backhanded throw across his body on 3rd down pic.twitter.com/Cd3ULyIhGH
But we will not be concede here:
Can we take a moment to appreciate that, after years and years of crying how "unfair" it is that ND doesn't have to play a conference championship game, they made one in their first try.— Stewart Mandel (@slmandel) December 1, 2020
I'm by no means Mr. Asterisk, but let's not act like beating Clemson's QB2 and playing a shortened schedule against no fans is the same thing as making a conference championship game in normal circumstances, which is only for sacred and elite teams like Northwestern.
But seriously, they beat Clemson again, and I'll shut the fuck up. Until then, I will not be "taking a moment." Fuck them.
Florida (6) at Tennessee: This SEC regular season will not end. Here is a potato.
My niece drew a picture for me and I choose to believe this means she has also developed a love for minor bowl games pic.twitter.com/TCd1RlDaS1— Matt Brown (@MattBrownCFB) December 2, 2020
West Virginia at Iowa State (9): HOOK 'EM, CLONES!
Iowa State beat Texas for the culture pic.twitter.com/XQTzLUZUex— ESPN College Football (@ESPNCFB) November 30, 2020
Heard it's 99% they'll play in the conference title game, though I'm sure there are a lot of you more interested in exploring that 1%.
Indiana (12) at Wisconsin (16): Remember the Penix Posse? Yeah, we had fun over here.
Iowa (19) at Illinois: Your homework is to watch and protect Donny this week.
A lot has happened since, given that this was the second play of the game, but we should all go back and fully appreciate Shaun Beyer's catch@CRKFootball #Hawkeyes #TightEndU pic.twitter.com/GwTi4qOt5u— Mike OBrien (@mobrientv) November 28, 2020
Though I'm not sure he's topping that.
* * *
Also, hate to be the wet blanket on what's actually turning into a fun Iowa season, but... we are really gonna pay for these two things at some point.
Well at least one guy ran past the first down marker! pic.twitter.com/eQIVXyUw2I— Go Iowa Awesome (@IowaAwesome) November 27, 2020
Buffalo at Ohio: Legit thought something went wrong here.
Or, honestly, here.
Literally madden numbers pic.twitter.com/ktatoRY62I— Phill (@MeekPhill_) November 28, 2020
Vanderbilt at Georgia (8): Was in the middle of typing "No" (Georgia's fault) before realizing we got Vandy in the mix.
WHAT UP, SARAH?
Historic moment for college football— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) November 27, 2020
Vanderbilt is turning to women's soccer player Sarah Fuller to be its place-kicker on Saturday.
She will become the first woman to participate in a Power 5 football game. (via @VandyFootball) pic.twitter.com/kIeMh4uRjZ
Whoever thought the glass ceiling would get cracked with a pooch?
Also: a royal fuck you to anyone who was actually mad about her winning SEC Special Teams Player of the Week. At first, I thought these were strawperson arguments until seeing Clay Travis (of course) Mad Online, as if some dumbass is going to be scanning the record books in 2085 like "I tell you, this does not seem like a valid choice for the Week 13 2020 SEC Special Teams Player of the Week, by George!"
Miss me with all of that.
(And yes, in my future, everyone has British accents for some reason.)
Stanford at Washington: Not continuing to track this game was a baaaaad choice.
What. A. Comeback.— ESPN College Football (@ESPNCFB) November 29, 2020
The Huskies storm back and score 24 points unanswered for the W pic.twitter.com/4HyRiJUeiG
Also, really hope this person is OK.
Scary stuff.— Hans Olsen (@975Hans) November 29, 2020
This dude got hit hard and went out COLD!
Not good... pic.twitter.com/zVp3qKbEp4
This and the Nate Robinson knockout were around the same time. Not a good night for brain safety, oof.
So yeah, the Huskies are 3-0 with one cancellation, so all we can do for now is clown their basketball team.
San Jose State at Hawai'i:
San Jos State is no stranger to schedule alterations in Hawai'i. In 1941, the Spartans were on the islands for a bowl game, when Pearl Harbor happened. The games were cancelled, and many SJSU Football players assisted with rescue/recovery efforts. https://t.co/tMuPPLDNg0— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) December 2, 2020
Purposefully didn't look this up because it needs to be true.
Oregon (23) at California: So, the Oregon dream is over. Feels like two weeks ago at this point.
Colorado at Arizona: Should the Wildcats have been our squad all along?
Clemson (3) at Virginia Tech: Clemson Tom always leads this section, but this pick was too damn cool to not be first.
He was FLOATING pic.twitter.com/WHdOEODNsq— ESPN College Football (@ESPNCFB) November 28, 2020
OK, now the Mouth of the South:
You guys probably think I'm gonna come in here and say what I typically say every week about who we're gonna play and how bad we’re gonna beat them. However, I’m not gonna start it off like that! On Saturday night, when we play the Virginia Tech Hokies, we will clinch the ACC championship game -- and a revenge game against those pansies from Indiana, Notre Dame!
The good thing is, on December 12, both teams will have a bye week. That was the same Saturday that we were supposed to reschedule Florida State before they "quit on the season". Yeah, I said it.
Let’s gear up for the remaining football season as we get told for the millionth time that Alabama is the greatest thing that's ever been assembled and could beat any team that's ever played this glorious game of football. Alabama is suspect, as I feel you can throw the ball all over their defense.
I just want to beat those idiots from Notre Dame who ironically should be playing in the Big Ten. Speaking of the Big Ten, how about Ohio State? Ha ha Ha ha ha losers.
I love him.
Alabama (1) at LSU: tfw you realize this game will not be 10% as good as 2019 'Bama-LSU
The group chat when a member has a bad tweet pic.twitter.com/d737xurPN7— Patrick Claybon (@PatrickClaybon) November 28, 2020
The Tide... might be on a mission here.
Washington State at USC (20): This is actually on Sunday night (?), so it should've had its own section, but since when has anyone ever done anything special for the Cougs?
Asked if he'd want to play the Apple Cup on Dec. 19, assuming UW isn't in the Pac-12 title game, Jimmy Lake says: "Yes. Of course." Says the team, community etc. wants that game to happen.— Christian Caple (@ChristianCaple) November 25, 2020
Wrapping It Up...
And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to Go Iowa Awesome. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy or email to bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com.