Coming Home to the Place (and Team) I Never Left

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Fake Lie Dakich That Is Not Real's picture

Welcome home

After spending years being bullied by the big ten, I decided to become the bully and go after Iowa basketball players. I also have no concept of what is real and what is fantasy, as demonstrated by my belief that I could coach.

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Mark Hasty's picture

Thank you, it's very nice to be here. Do you have any idea how I can convince myself to start caring about Rutgers and Maryland?

Pepper Brooks's picture

As schools or as an opponent once every 1.4 years or however the math works out?  As a school - no.  As an opponent - sure, for a six day window is all.

Punting is a bold strategy, let's see if it pays off for them.

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Crow Iowa Cawesome's picture

Maybe if you combined them to make a Scarlet Turtle Knight, that be cool right? Then pretend that they weren't added to the Big Ten... and that they weren't Maryland and New Jersey.

Shock and Caw

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IowaPharmer's picture

That's a question we'd all like to hear the answer to. Although it was cute when Rutgers thought they were going to dominate wrestling. 

"I know what I'm suggesting." -therealCatnuts

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leinbacker's picture

For Rutgers consider the financial boom when Chris Christie visits all the deep-fried food booths at the Iowa State fair.

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WaterlooChazz's picture

There will be a boom.  It might be about 8 to 12 hours after he eats all that fried food, though.

I never wanted to Fire Ferentz. Good bye and good luck, Gary.

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rockyh's picture

Bet money on them?

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields

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Hollywood Hawk Hogan's picture

You don't have to care about Rutgers or Maryland.  Just pick them to lose to whatever real Big Ten team they're playing and move on with your life.

CAUTION: May go on prolonged rants about Gary Barta and Bruce Harreld without warning.

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WaterlooChazz's picture

The big secret:  Maryland isn't going to suck in football this year.  They did make a shit bowl last year.  I think they'll get to a minor bowl this year, too.

I never wanted to Fire Ferentz. Good bye and good luck, Gary.

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scratch where it itches's picture

A Hasty hire. 

Pig shit you say? Smells like $7 Billion to me.

Also, fire Gary Barta.

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Hollywood Hawk Hogan's picture

I think the editors were quite on the Mark with this choice, actually.

CAUTION: May go on prolonged rants about Gary Barta and Bruce Harreld without warning.

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Dip-shit's picture

I can certainly relate to being "An Iowan who, for work reasons, has spent most of his adult life outside the Hawkeye State, but still considers it home." I've been living in Norman since 2005. Everyone told me I'd become a fan of the local team, it would just be a matter of time. Twelve years later, I'm still bleeding black and gold!

55-24 #Woodshed

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FauxHawk's picture

The Navy took me to Virginia, and my wife has kept me here since I got out.  I'm proud to have the only Hawkeye mailbox in my county.  I do live close enough to DC that I can share an occasional thumbs up with a fellow Iowan who has the good taste to put a sticker on their vehicle as well.  

I might also be the only person happy that Maryland joined, I'm back in the B1G footprint again.

nec aspera terrent

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C.I.owA's picture

NoVa has quite a few of us.

Once scissor-kicked Angela Lansbury at Moroccan casino. She knows what she did!! Best friends with Bill Brasky

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IAinCA's picture

They don't even know what a "Hawkeye" is where I'm at...they think the tigerhawk is a parrot.

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Hollywood Hawk Hogan's picture

I am also one of the many thousands of educated professionals that Iowa's public education system has generated for employment outside of Iowa.  Moved to SoCal in 99, but that still hasn't taken me out of the Hawkeye State of mind.  Although, unlike Sooner country, LA is very laid back about its sports loyalties (or lack thereof).  Nobody has tried to convert me to a U$C fan over here.

CAUTION: May go on prolonged rants about Gary Barta and Bruce Harreld without warning.

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HoustonHawkeye's picture

Same here - been here 2 decades now in Houston (that little town by Galveston).  

And really, football (and college sports overall), are no big deal in Texas.  You have to really drill down in a conversation to find out if someone's an Aggie, a Teasip, whether or not you should be Guns Up, have your eyes peeled for days to see the Cougar Sign, or just drive by someone with a Geaux Tigers! sticker on their vehicle...and when I say I'm a UNI grad and lifelong Hawkeye, they almost look offended that I'm NOT one of them.  

I strongly prefer winning over losing.

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rockyh's picture

Yay!

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields

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Mex's picture

Hooray content! Looking forward to reading potbutt. 

The World's Worst Mexican(TM)

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Mike Jones's picture

HI MARK! 

Hawkeye Compliance is stalking me on Twitter.

rockyh's picture

oh hi mark

EDIT: shoot, looks like someone already posted it.  Oh well.

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields

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iowabeakster's picture

The people of Iowa welcome you, Mark.

Fields of opportunities

GIA is Iowa away from Iowa, for many of us.

Can't wait to read your pieces

Because we can all agree, that no matter how the trash got to the river, it just shouldn't be there. -river guy

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Fryser Soze's picture

I can only guess that you have now managed to find a way to CARE about Rutgers and Maryland.

How?  Why?  Do we have to?

Welcome aboard!

Formerly YouCanPutYourEddsInIt

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Mark Hasty's picture

You don't have to, and I'm not sure I do. But I was actually on the University of Maryland campus the day Len Bias died, and the best interview I ever did was with Mario Batali, who went to Rutgers. 

That's about as far as I've gotten. Actually caring about their football programs will come later.

"Siri, in what language does 'later' mean 'never'?"

IowaPharmer's picture

First off, you said "staff member", so you've already fit in (TWSS).

Secondly, I'm etremely excited for this new series. I imagine it to be somewhat similar to Wha' Happened in a roundabout way, one of my all time favorite BHGP series. 

Anyway, welcome aboard, new overlord!

"I know what I'm suggesting." -therealCatnuts

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JRossman's picture

Have a seat, Mark Hasty!  Always glad to see another old-timer such as myself join this crowd, especially one who is also suffering here in Illinois. I have found perspective to be a necessary requirement of successful Hawkeye fandom and I look forward to appreciating yours.

Cussin' the Hawks since 1971!

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Close Shave America's picture

America, you're looking good: handsome, free and tall

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BHNP's picture

What's all this about Rutgers being in the Big 10?

Did I miss a meeting?

Just blogging it out here on this Web tube

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Mark Hasty's picture

I'm giving serious thought to just pretending they never joined.

KSHawkI's picture

I just wish KF knew they had legitimately joined the conference. 14-7 was way too close for comfort.

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Hollywood Hawk Hogan's picture

Coach clearly thought it was a preseason game, like Iowa State.

CAUTION: May go on prolonged rants about Gary Barta and Bruce Harreld without warning.

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MdHawkeye's picture

Welcome, Mark. Looking forward to your posts.

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Chuck Longs Mom's picture

What's a Rutger?

Big Sky Hawkeye

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Sparty's picture

Glad to see another Dodger on here, or were you a Gael?  Was Dale Hasty your grandfather?  I used to rent from him back in the day.

Sparty

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Mark Hasty's picture

I was a Dodger, and Dale was my great uncle. He was a good guy, always the life of the party at family gatherings. I can still hear his laugh.

EnergizerHawk's picture

Oh hey, guy. Welcome. I'm here for the booze talk and the occasional hot taek! Looking forward to reading your stuff!

#BreakingtheInternet since 2009

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Bbfamily's picture

Welcome Mark. I am assuming your grandfather was Vern Hasty. My son know owns the thousands of baseball and football cards purchased from Uncle Curts and Tiny's store. Also Curt helped build our families corn crib in the 40s, still standing strong. Like you, I remember vividly sweating the outcome of OSU/MI in Duncombe at my friend's house about a block from the store. Drank a lot of mountain dew (glass bottles) that day, I about 7 years older than you.

Michael Berry

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Mark Hasty's picture

Yup, that was my grandpa. Duncombe's a great place, I miss it a lot.

kidiowa's picture

Hi Mark, good to see another Dirty Dodger in here (although i went to St Eds).  Looking forward to more of your work!

Scribbled in crayon

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chitownhawkeye's picture

Welcome home, Mark, 

I enjoyed POTBT quite a bit back in the day, so I'm looking forward to seeing it revived.

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