A BORED HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT PREVIEWS BIG TEN BASKETBALL 2017-18

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therealCatnuts's picture

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women, and song. The other half I wasted.

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chitownhawkeye's picture

7 out of 10, not enough comparing and contrasting.  Or Wisconsin hate.

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Subterfuge's picture

I abso-lutely LOVE action-packed action! I can not weight for banksketballs!!

yup

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EverywhereIgoIseethesameclones's picture

um...duh. Rick Pitino doesn't coach Duke Basketball, he coaches for Minnesota Basketball. And he didn't get fired it was his grandpa who coaches Lewisville. I mean they aren't even in the same district, one is the Big Ten College Basketball Conference and the other one is the ACC College Basketball Conference. 

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Calvin Poolidge's picture

I haven't read a word beyond the title and all I can say is "OH GOD DAMMIT.  REALLY?"

I'm sure it will be brilliant, but god dammit, you're making me read another one of these?  It's me, not you Jacobi, but I always go into these with a sense of dread and impending pain.  I end up laughing in the end and enjoying myself, but I've got a PTSD-like reaction to these posts at this point.

(To be completely honest, I always worry that this one will be the one I don't laugh at, and that would make me sad.  But you never disappoint.  No pressure.)

"I have something like 50 years left on this little blue marble, I don’t want to spend 50 weeks of it caring about stupid fucking Iowa State." ~TherealCatnuts
"This school spirit, it's contagious. It's alcohol." ~Airliner goer 1977 ranked ISU "Beat Iowa"

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therealCatnuts's picture

Me, every single time:

"this old bit again?"

"ok, I'll read the start of it"

"ok that line was new and damn funny"

"ok that whole article was new and damn funny. Totally worth it. Self, remind me not to be so skeptical next time."

rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat. 

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women, and song. The other half I wasted.

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Calvin Poolidge's picture

It's like Steven Wright.  It's sneaky funny.  You're like "oh god" and then like "OH GOD DAMN!"

"I have something like 50 years left on this little blue marble, I don’t want to spend 50 weeks of it caring about stupid fucking Iowa State." ~TherealCatnuts
"This school spirit, it's contagious. It's alcohol." ~Airliner goer 1977 ranked ISU "Beat Iowa"

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Calvin Poolidge's picture

Jacobi, you make me want to kill myself

~

with laughter.

"I have something like 50 years left on this little blue marble, I don’t want to spend 50 weeks of it caring about stupid fucking Iowa State." ~TherealCatnuts
"This school spirit, it's contagious. It's alcohol." ~Airliner goer 1977 ranked ISU "Beat Iowa"

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IowaPharmer's picture

So. Many. Gems. These are so, so much fun to read. I love Bored High School Student!

"I know what I'm suggesting." -therealCatnuts

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rockyh's picture

If Bored Highschool student had done actual research on Wikipedia, he would have found out that the first 5-on-5 collegiate basketball game ever was between the University of Chicago and the University of Iowa in 1896.  It was played in Close Hall, the original gymnasium on the university campus (where the Biology Building now stands).

Iowa lost to the Maroons, 15-12.

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields

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IowaPharmer's picture

KF has a score boner. 

"I know what I'm suggesting." -therealCatnuts

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Spauldo's picture

I am surprised there is no mention of North Dakota Mathews. He has always seemed like the better Mathews to me.

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Beltway Hawk's picture

Bored high school student follow up: When one ex-Butler coach (Thad Motta) is on the "outs", then there is sometimes another one waiting (to be hired or maybe just to continue coaching at Butler, if nobody else new wants to hire them). For the Buckeyes team that continues to play basketball, when you compare and contrast situations, you can sometimes see that when a Big Ten school hires the Butler coach as their new coach, that always works out great!"  

"There is no reason in the world why we shouldn't fight for the preservation of a chance to live freely, no reason why we shouldn't suffer to uphold that which we want to endure." -Nile Kinnick

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