It's Not Plagiarism If You Link to It Was Going 22 in a 20

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therealCatnuts's picture

Didn't know we were coached by a Colin Firth romcom character 

"I sat down with he and his dad. I guess sometimes I’m too subtle; so [the assistant coaches] said, 'Does he know that you offered him?' I said, 'Well, I think he does.' So then I ran out to the car and said, oh, by the way, that was an offer, okay, just to — I said, we want you, which to me that’s what that means. If I say we want you, I mean we want you."

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women, and song. The other half I wasted.

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Fryser Soze's picture

Does that make Nate Stanley...Bridget Jones?  Does he have an accent?  I bet he even says things weirdly too, like "bubbler" instead of drinking fountain.

Formerly YouCanPutYourEddsInIt

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John Dumb Blog's picture

It's like a Nicholas Sparks movie. KF running out to catch the car in a down pour. "We want you"
I now imagine all of KF's recruiting pitches as basically scene's from the Notebook.

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Tmess89's picture

I can't get this image out of my head now. Can you also picture Kirk proposing marriage the exact same way?

"Mary, I want you." Then scribbling a note on his notepad and walking away without another word.

55-24

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Bohemian Grove's picture

LOL! 

Can't stop grinning thinking about this!

I didn't break my leg for no shit. -Drake Kulick

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MayorofCenterJunction's picture

This has the beginnings of a Batshit Insanity post... 

Ferentz being driven by Bloodpunch to the CR airport to catch a recruit and say "we want you" before they board the plane. At the same time Pollard & Campbell are sitting by themselves at the QC airport. They planned on doing the same thing but Pollard forgot to take the 380 exit. 

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GetLoose's picture

They planned on doing the same thing but Pollard forgot to take the 380 exit. 

This reminds me of my idiot brother missing the 380 exit from HWY 20 when he was coming to visit me in Iowa City.  He called me asking how much further he would have to drive past Farley, Ia to get to Iowa City.  This was not his first time missing that exit, but the definitely the furthest East he got on HWY 20.  He was 35 at the time.  We never have or never will let him forget.

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Hayden High Kick's picture

You should've tried to get him to keep going so he didn't figure it out until he crossed the river. Then again, no one should be forced to visit East Dubuque, not even as a prank.

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therealCatnuts's picture

Leach wasn't talking about Early, IA. He was talking about New Vienna, IA. Fuck that speed trap. 

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women, and song. The other half I wasted.

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Give Eddie a Beer's picture

You sound NV-ous of Mike Leach's ability to get out of speeding tickets.

Kirk Ferentz: "The biggest thing I have is the length. It’s going to be boring as can be."

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therealCatnuts's picture

For those unaware of this small town:

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women, and song. The other half I wasted.

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Close Shave America's picture

That sign is Jacobi-worthy

America, you're looking good: handsome, free and tall

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IowaPharmer's picture

Needs more horses to Jacobi-worthy. 

"I know what I'm suggesting." -therealCatnuts

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Hawkette's picture

My uncle runs "The Lodge" there!  Next time, you're driving through stop in and tell Dan that his oldest niece sent you.

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pahawkfan's picture

Mike Leach is simply fabulous, and an offensive genius.  Don't want him anywhere near Lincoln, Neb.  

Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' Badgers.

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John Dumb Blog's picture

Would you prefer Scott Frost?

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That Guy with the Jokes's picture

I think they should stick with Rilllllley

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

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KSHawkI's picture

You're going to need another "L" or two in there.

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therealCatnuts's picture

Oh yes, I would very much prefer Scott Frost. The painful gnashing of teeth when A Nebraska Man is the latest in line to fail to bring them back to national prominence would be a sweet sound. 

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women, and song. The other half I wasted.

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kkurt2323's picture

I wouldn't be too worried about Mike Leach.  He's a completely an passing offensive coach, his teams have never fielded an even average defense, and I don't think that Leach particularly cares all that much that he hasn't.  Because they throw the ball so much they turn the ball over a ton as well.  

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KSHawkI's picture

I'd be ok inserting a little bit of CHAOSTEAM into the west division. That's all a Leach-coached Nebby would be.

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Fake Lie Dakich That Is Not Real's picture

So, pretty much what Nebby has now?

After spending years being bullied by the big ten, I decided to become the bully and go after Iowa basketball players. I also have no concept of what is real and what is fantasy, as demonstrated by my belief that I could coach.

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WaterlooChazz's picture

No, right now they have a SHITTEAM.

I never wanted to Fire Ferentz. Good bye and good luck, Gary.

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HoustonHawkeye's picture

No, a CHAOSTEAM can still catch the ball when thrown...74 times a game.

I strongly prefer winning over losing.

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JRossman's picture

PHF:  My initial response was similar to yours, but upon reflection I remembered that Papa Frentz was able to handle Rich Rodriguez, though not a pirate, rather handily so maybe it might not be that bad...

Cussin' the Hawks since 1971!

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pahawkfan's picture

Very true.  KF also beat Leach in the '01 Alamo Bowl.  I don't think RichRod is as good of a coach as Leach, though.  Leach has a track record of taking teams with marginal reputations and marginal facilities and making them very competitive.  I just don't like the idea of putting him in a place with more institutional support, Big Ten-level facilities and access to the TX recruiting area.  Not sure we have too much to worry about though.  My guess is a lot of the NE donor/alums are still very much in love with the glory days' I-back/option run football and might have coronaries if forced to watch an air raid offense every week.

Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' Badgers.

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WaterlooChazz's picture

"My guess is a lot of the NE donor/alums are still very much in love with the glory days' I-back/option run football and might have coronaries if forced to watch an air raid offense every week."

And if/when he won 10 or 11 games, they'd all bow down.

Sorta like how nobody is complaining about those Asshole Ferentzes once they put some boots to OSU.

I never wanted to Fire Ferentz. Good bye and good luck, Gary.

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SleazeeSmurf's picture

Not so fast, Chachi. Unfrozen Caveman Coach is still an asshole, has been an asshole and most likely will always be an asshole. Kudos to him for finally doing what we've been begging for offensively for about 10 years now. BF is still an ape (never saud he was an asshole) but kudos to him for putting together a great game plan. Hopefully, they stick to it and stop being am asshole and an ape.

I have small blue balls.

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Brinzerian Wisdom's picture

Leach would last 2 years tops in Lincoln. He's a great coach, but he is a sociopath. He gets away with it in no media places lile Pullman and Lubbock. I think he would be like a whore in church in Lincoln.

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KSHawkI's picture

A gorilla is actually a pretty solid mascot for a football team.

And unlike the one in Pennsylvania, Pittsburg, Kansas has no "h" at the end. Pitt State is also one of the premier D-2 programs in the country, with 31 conference titles in their history.

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IAinCA's picture

Isn't Justin Jackson a senior though? Why wouldn't he be on the draft board? Am I missing something?

Edit, I think you mean JOSH Jackson.

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Mex's picture

Jackson is a junior, and I'm guessing the article that Ferentz is referencing is one that touted Jackson as a potential first round draft pick. I assume as much because when I saw the paper in the breakroom at work I nearly spit out my drink. 

I won't be shocked if Jackson leaves because King staying saw him fall to the fifth round, but a first round grade is absurd. 

The World's Worst Mexican(TM)

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IAinCA's picture

It was originally stated as [Justin Jackson], it was corrected...

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IowaPharmer's picture

Well, he helped incite a Junior Senior riot here last Saturday...

"I know what I'm suggesting." -therealCatnuts

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Pepper Brooks's picture

Sam the Fake FG story is very cool.  Having the guys in the booth reference the conversation so many times and call Sam out by name is excellent work.  You can tell the announcers are genuinely touched by The Wave and those kids, Lord knows I am.  Very dusty at the end of the first...

Punting is a bold strategy, let's see if it pays off for them.

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Coromandel Hawk's picture

We were in town the day of the Tonga-Samoa game.  Rugby league isn't essentially ancient Polynesian Warfare.  It is literally modern Polynesian Warfare.  On the field and in the stands!

BWR

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pahawkfan's picture

But do any of those guys have eligibility?

Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' Badgers.

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IowaPharmer's picture

And can they punt?

"I know what I'm suggesting." -therealCatnuts

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Brinzerian Wisdom's picture

Fun synthesis fact: When Mike Leach was at Iowa Wesleyan, they recruited a ton of kids from Samoa. One of them was Epenesa Epenesa, who later transferred to Iowa, forming a lifelong bond with the University that led to his son, AJ Epenesa choosing Iowa.

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UPHawk's picture

I think the Tonga guys practiced their routine a little bit more.

Lot of potential LB and FB talent there....

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WaterlooChazz's picture

Who waits all week to read all the newspapers on one evening?

Do you then go to work the next day and say "Hey, did anybody hear that Mike Jones won a city council seat way back on Tuesday?"

Pfffft.

I never wanted to Fire Ferentz. Good bye and good luck, Gary.

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scratch where it itches's picture

Was that really our Mike Jones? Saw the signs when I was in town last week for work and thought “...nah”. 

Pig shit you say? Smells like $7 Billion to me.

Also, fire Gary Barta.

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WaterlooChazz's picture

Some at BHGP thought maybe so.  Or they were joking. 

I mean, how many Mike Joneses can there be?

I never wanted to Fire Ferentz. Good bye and good luck, Gary.

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therealCatnuts's picture

Who?

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women, and song. The other half I wasted.

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IowaPharmer's picture

Do you think Mike Leach was headed to a Thursday night high school game?  With a bottle to forgot his name?

"I know what I'm suggesting." -therealCatnuts

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tyger1147's picture

I really hate rugby league - it's basically football without the strategy or the pads and all the douchebroness - but this was cool. One of the best things about being in China (mainly when I was in Shanghai) and playing rugby, was all the Samoans, Tongans and Fijians I met and got to know.

meh

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PakibombShelter's picture

Like most normal households, the Ferentzes have a night designated to read the week's newspapers.

This was seriously the greatest bit of dry humor/sarcasm I have seen in a good couple of months. LOL is usually just thrown around meaning something is funny, but I genuinely started laughing, all alone, in the middle of my living room for a good 10 seconds.

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