THE HYBRID: THE RUTGERS PROBLEM

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rosko-p's picture

Rutgers brought the world Ray Rice and it is not like he ever did anything to disgrace himself, Rutgers University, and the B1G.

Wiscillinowa Native

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chitownhawkeye's picture

He didn't even disgrace the NFL, despite trying really hard.

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Jon Berg's picture

Can't disgrace something that never had any shame to begin with.

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That Guy with the Jokes's picture

I will defend this column until the sun explodes and then collapses into itself. Even then, when we're all crushed into a black hole the size of a mosquito's eye, I'll still be reading the Hybrid. And also Pickin' on the Big Ten. Those two things. Forever.

Keep up the good work Bobby.

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

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houksyndrome's picture

100% agree on the column.  It might be my single favorite thing about college football.

FYI, the Sun will not end up as a black hole.  It isn't massive enough.  White dwarf + planetary nebula is the ultimate fate of our solar system.  Before that, the Sun will become a red giant that will swallow up the planet Mercury.

I suppose it's possible that the white dwarf + planetary nebula gets swallowed up by a black hole waayyyyyy down the line.  But it isn't massive enough to generate one itself.

Neil Peart stands alone

Here, have some of these smelling salts.

nerdhawk's picture

Go Iowa Awesome:  Come for the college football incoherent jibberish nonsense, stay for the astrophysics pedantry.

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houksyndrome's picture

Planetary nebulas are dope!

Neil Peart stands alone

Here, have some of these smelling salts.

rockyh's picture

While "nebulas" is a common and acceptable word, the proper pluralization is "nebulae."

I had to throw some pedantry in here because someone beat me to the white dwarf tidbit.

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields

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dampfartmoldpants's picture

Technically the sun is too small to eventually collapse into a black hole, sadly we'll go red giant and then white dwarf.

But I will defend this column until the heat death of the universe!

“A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me.” – Jody Landers

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therealCatnuts's picture

This is so good. Double the nerdery. 

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women, and song. The other half I wasted.

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Beltway Hawk's picture

Imagine Alan Selzer with that A's pitcher's "beard" 0_o

...or don't!

"There is no reason in the world why we shouldn't fight for the preservation of a chance to live freely, no reason why we shouldn't suffer to uphold that which we want to endure." -Nile Kinnick

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chitownhawkeye's picture

I'd rather not.  But I'd rather not think that type of beard is anything more than a lost bet or terrible shaving accident.

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rockyh's picture

Philistines.  How can you deride this beautiful beard?  It is a statement of dominance.  Like Scylla and Charybdis, the pogonotrophic work circles the yawning maw of the pitcher, intimating a sense of unassailable natural power and wanton destructiveness.  And yet, it belies that strength with a sense of vulnerability, the imberbic flesh of the left jowl evoking submission and the naïveté of youth.  The juxtaposition calls into question our social and gender norms, and confronts the viewer with the question "what does it all mean?"  

Truly a work of facial-topiary art.

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields

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Calvin Poolidge's picture

This comment reminds me that I once threw a candy wrapper on the other side of the velvet rope at the Chicago Museum of Art, just so I could ask the docent for the definition of "art."  I was in high school and wouldn't do that now, but it did lead to a nice class discussion.

"I have something like 50 years left on this little blue marble, I don’t want to spend 50 weeks of it caring about stupid fucking Iowa State." ~TherealCatnuts
"This school spirit, it's contagious. It's alcohol." ~Airliner goer 1977 ranked ISU "Beat Iowa"

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odiE-'s picture

Did he die?  I really want the last 3 seconds of the last clip.  Is this why Herk U Loyd doesn't like this column?

Im just here to make comments

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GetLoose's picture

Did he die?

Maybe. Maybe not. But that Banana Boy learned that he's no acrobat.

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HoyaGoon's picture

It's amazing how college student Brady Ross looks a decade older than me, and I'm 42 (and also the answer to the question of Life, the Universe, and Everything)

Just another garbage commenter spreading my *sshole all over the internet.

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Fryser Soze's picture

Unlike Brady Ross, HoyaGoon is mostly harmless.

Formerly YouCanPutYourEddsInIt

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HoyaGoon's picture

But far less hairless

Just another garbage commenter spreading my *sshole all over the internet.

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HoustonHawkeye's picture

TMI

I strongly prefer winning over losing.

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HoyaGoon's picture

I'm just saying I'm not bald (or balding, or even really gray-ing).

Just another garbage commenter spreading my *sshole all over the internet.

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therealCatnuts's picture

Not that there’s anything wrong with those

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women, and song. The other half I wasted.

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Push Rawk Hawk's picture

Sure, he's not going to "schedule" California teams, but you best be sure that Barry Alvarez will take a Rose Bowl bid against one.  

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HoustonHawkeye's picture

That's cuz HE be gettin' paid, boy!  Barry gotta eat, yo - and his being paid won't affect his eligibility none either!

I strongly prefer winning over losing.

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scratch where it itches's picture

I propose that Wisconsin and aOSU should have to give Rutgers 1 starter from each side of the ball at the start of every as a form of luxury tax. That, or Rutgers should just leave. Either is fine. 

Pig shit you say? Smells like $7 Billion to me.

Also, fire Gary Barta.

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chitownhawkeye's picture

Alan Selzer is an Aussie, right?  Please tell me he is.  Because with that hair, he can't be more Australian without holding a Foster's and a boomerang.

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Hawktober's picture

he can't be more Australian without holding a Foster's and a boomerang.

Don't let an Australian catch you saying that about Foster's.  You might get a black eye.  They don't drink it anywhere down there.  Foster's is as Australian as Outback Steakhouse.

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Pack87Man's picture

The difference is that Foster's is made in Australia. It's just 100% exported for sale.

Stella!

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rosko-p's picture

Coppertone.

Wiscillinowa Native

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dampfartmoldpants's picture

VB is the Aussie beer of choice.

“A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me.” – Jody Landers

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HoyaGoon's picture

Veggie Mite Lager

Just another garbage commenter spreading my *sshole all over the internet.

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Calvin Poolidge's picture

Speaking of which, what the fuck was in that bottle?  It sure wasn't sports drink.

"I have something like 50 years left on this little blue marble, I don’t want to spend 50 weeks of it caring about stupid fucking Iowa State." ~TherealCatnuts
"This school spirit, it's contagious. It's alcohol." ~Airliner goer 1977 ranked ISU "Beat Iowa"

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the notorious r.d.m.'s picture

Since joining the B1G in 2014, Rutgers is 20-45 (7-38) and has given up an average of 32.5 points/game in that span and has a negative differential of 873 points, almost 2 touchdowns per game. And 53% of the points Rutgers has scored since 2014 have been against non-B1G opponents.

Rutgers has been shutout 9 times and scored than 9 or less an additional 12 times. That's being held to single digits almost one third of games. The rest of the B1G combined has been shutout 14 times since 2014.

In closing, Rutgers is dogshit but the B1G likes money.

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RetroHawk's picture

Those are numbers and a tradition that only a 70's era, riverboat gambler like Hayden Fry would take on.  Good luck finding him (or her)....don't want to leave anybody out.

RetroHawk

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Ghost of Al Lorenzen's picture

Clemson escapes by the skin of its teeth against a UNC squad fresh off a loss to App State.

No Clemson Tom this week.

Coincidence?

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Bobby Loesch's picture

I mean... they are  on bye.

That said, not how long term his memory will be when he makes his return.

"Be good or be good at it"

Encopresis's picture

 The only Florida play that I have any interest in seeing drawn up on a whiteboard is the one where two offensive linemen block each other.  That was some original shit right there. 

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tyger1147's picture

A) The reporters question was bad. It was rambling and halfway incoherent.

B) I don't think Watson was that disdainful or annoyed at "having to explain" what it was they were doing. Sure, others might be, but it didn't seem like he was.

C) If they are, it's because the reporter is askign something, and he didn't know what he was talking about. From what I gathered, the ignorance was revealed in the question. "What could you have done to go over the top more?" "Dude, it was a cover 4 which is basically prevent. You can't go over the top. We tried at the beginning when they were running something different, and we were open but I missed the throws. They switched and just can't get over the top on that. You should now if you know football."

C) There's no way reporters want this type of answer. That reporter couldn't type that answer out and print it in written form. And even then, I sorta played defensive college ball, and I'm not even sure I got the right answer. These are good questions for reporters to learn the game at open practices and all that other stuff. He can learn and be more informed. But no, I don't think reporters would like getting these types of questions in post-game press-conferences.

meh

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BlockerHawk's picture

Of course sesh is a word (although my phone tries to autocorrect it). It was made famous by the infamous Kenny Powers on his show Sports Sesh. And remember, Kenny played real sports, he wasn’t trying to be the best at exercising.

Will twerk for food

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MattShermanINTs's picture

I appreciate the column.  I am also curious how Bobby prepares for an Iowa-Mich clash. 

Does he hang out in front of The Brown Jug bar/grill in Ann Arbor, nervously eating corn on the cob, then washes it down with a Bell's?  

OR

Does he fire up a replay of the 2003 Iowa-Mich game, pen and notebook in hand, and wait for the Glorious Lloyd Carr Punting Experiment to begin?   

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Bobby Loesch's picture

I generally prepare by keeping my god damn mouth shut. I have a lot more Iowa friends than M friends, and Iowa fans are not here for my duality. That said, Wazzu has never once bothered a soul.

"Be good or be good at it"