The Eternal Pessimist: Indiana

By Patrick Vint on October 11, 2018 at 2:00 pm
Peyton Ramsey

© Ed Mulholland-USA TODAY Sports

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Oh no. We're so screwed.

  1. November 3, 2012.  This was not a vintage Iowa team by any stretch of the imagination.  The Hawkeyes were 4-4 headed to Bloomington, but with Purdue still ahead, there was a chance at six wins and a bad bowl game.  That is, there was a chance, until the game was delayed by over an hour due to lightning -- NOVEMBER LIGHTNING -- and Indiana backup quarterback Cameron Coffman found Cody Lattimer for his third touchdown of the day in the fourth quarter, right about the time the weather delay turned Iowa's offense back into a pumpkin.  The loss sent Iowa further into an already-quickening death spiral, and the Hawkeyes would not win another game until 2013.
     
  2. September 29, 2007.  Indiana jumped to a 21-0 lead in Kinnick Stadium, sacked Jake Christiansen nine times, and James Hardy'd Iowa to death in a 38-20 stomping.  Again, this wasn't necessarily the best Iowa team -- it was the seventh consecutive conference loss for the Hawkeyes, stretching back to the 2006 meltdown -- but that didn't matter much to The Best Player Any Iowa Fan Has Ever Seen.  Hardy caught just four passes that day, but they covered 113 yards and resulted in one touchdown.  Quarterback Kellen Lewis was The Second Best Player Any Iowa Fan Has Ever Seen, throwing for 322, and catching a would-be turnover and taking it 71 yards for a touchdown, maybe the most demoralizing score I've ever witnessed.  It was Indiana's biggest margin of victory over Iowa since World War II.
     
  3. September 30, 2000.  Antwaan Randle-El, people.  Dude was 9/22 for 111 yards and it didn't matter at all, because he ran for 187 and two scores (on 9.8 yards per carry).  It was Iowa's thirteenth loss in a row, and pretty much rock bottom for the Ferentz era (the Hawkeyes would break the streak the following week against Michigan State).
     
  4. In every one of those losses, Indiana had a singular force that broke the Matrix that Iowa's defense sets up.  In every one of those games, the Hoosiers turned a football game into single combat, like when the Spartans would just send Achilles to beat your best warrior and send you home. 
     
  5. The one time that the quirks didn't come through?  October 31, 2009.  The weirdest game I've ever witnessed.  Undefeated Iowa hosts middling, 4-4 Indiana on Halloween day and promptly falls behind 21-7.  Indiana opens the third quarter with a drive to the Iowa two yard line, when fate stepped in to save the Hawkeyes.
     

    Aided by that absurdity of an interception and gale force winds at its back, Iowa would go on to score 28 unanswered points in the fourth quarter and comfortably cover the spread.  But it required an impromptu goalline pinball game and divine intervention.  More importantly, Indiana didn't have that guy that year.
     

  6. Have you seen Peyton Ramsey play?

PESSIMISM RATING: JAMES HARDY #82 HALF-EMPTY GLASSES OUT OF 5

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