BORED HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT: WELCOME TO IOWA UNIVERSITY FOOTBALL 2019

By Adam Jacobi on August 30, 2019 at 10:00 am
Stratagy Move
Stratagy Move
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This is maybe one of the best seasons ever for Iowa University Football 2019.

You know what time it is...! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFSxi96o43Q

Welcome to Iowa University Football 2019. This season promises to be better than ever... or does it??? That is the question on everyone's minds across the nation. There are many factors to compare and contrast on will Iowa win the whole prize this year. Kurt Frendtz is back for his 30th year or whatever and he knows that if he can't bring a title to "the promised land" these fans will literally riot their heads off. 

Fortunatley, it looks like Coach has a few, heh, tricks up his sleeve (no pun intended). First up is superstar QB Nate Stanley, who everyone thinks is a shoe-in for Heisman Trophy 2019. Can he "go all the way?" Yes or no. It will really depend on his WR receivers, Ihmir Smith-Market and Brandon Smith-Market. And just when you thought that was all, Oliver Miller was declared elagable by the NCAA.. just in the "Nick" of time I might add! That sent shocked waves throughout the world. Nobody thought the NCAA hotshots and fat cats should wait that long, but I guess they had lots of factors to compare and contrast (yeah right!!!). Whenever I am 5 weeks late on a homework, guess what, I get a F and my mom takes my iPad away. Then one time I was so mad I called her a "big fat cow " and then I didn'tget dinner.

The running backfield is loaded "as ever." Iowa has the 3-headed snake monster of Mekhi Sergeant, Torn Young, and Keenan Ivory Wayans. If they can all rush for 2000 yards each, that would be the first time that has ever happened on one team in the last 20 years probably. Some experts people are thinking that if they are all 3 holding the ball and running, the defense will not know who to tackle and it will be a huge mess! This is the kind of stratagy move you can expect in Iowa University Football 2019.

Stratagy Move
  • College Football Stadium

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Kinnick Stadium - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org
› wiki › Kinnick_StadiumKinnick Stadium, formerly known as Iowa Stadium, is a stadium located in Iowa City, Iowa, United States. It is the home stadium of the University of Iowa ...
Former names‎: ‎Iowa Stadium (1929–1972)
Construction cost‎: ‎$497,151.42 (initial constru...

  • College Football Schedule 2019

This seasen's schedule is one of the hardest you have ever seen. It's anyone's ballgame out there most of the time! Let's look at the action game-by game, as they like to say.

  • Week 1, Miami of Ohio

This is the big time matchup everyone has been waiting for. Iowa Hawkeyes vs. Miami of Ohio Hurricanes Football 2019. Farmers verses Felons. I bet Michael Irving shows up and screams at all the fans and players so they'll do their best. The most famous Miami of Ohio QB is Geno Tourrettea, because he used to scream swears before he said hike and the defenses were too busy laughing at the QB yelling "fifteen hundred dog balls" before hiking and throwing the big Touch Down. 

  • Week 2, Ruttgers

Ruttgers is located in the New Jersey State and is famous for it's scarlet nights, which is what the locals call sunsets. Unfortunateally, sorry Rutgers but you're in big boy country now... Iowa country! State of Iowa. Our big boys should really man handle them. Afterwords, the only thing scarlet will be their football plants because Iowa University Hawkeyes hit them so hard they're all crapping blood!!!! Hope your not scared, Ruttgers! 

Dont get Scared
  • Week 3, Iowa State, at

Here it comes, the big one that everyone will be talkng about. Iowa University. Iowa State University. Maybe the national championship playoffs are on the line here. ISU State will try to "take no prisoners" no pun intended, but Iowa should turn the tables and make the Cylcones the prisoners themselves! Everyone will say Brain and Kirt Farentz are the geniuses of college football 2019 if they do that. This is a real mind game, a war of both worlds if you know what I mean! It's anyone's ballgame if they compare and contrast the best. 

  • Week 4, Middle Tennessee St.

Fill this in later

  • Week 5, Michigan, at

This one is for all the "marbles," folks. We could see a real matchup of teams with nothing to lose, except... the whole world! It is could be pretty epic in the big "house." Michigan University Wolverines 2019 is loaded with lot's of talent, but Jim Harbow can't win the big one with his life on the line, and everyone knows it maybe. Can he crack... the code??? Everyone is questioning this now! Iowa defense end AJ Epenzena needs at least 5 sacks or this could be Blowout City, USA.

  • Week 6, Penn St.

Here it is. It's Iowa's biggest nemissus, Penn St. aka "PSU", the Nittenny Lions. Folks if you're not excited yet, you should be checked for being dead. This is going to be Iowa's "GOLD GAME," where there uniforms are literly made out of solid gold. Check it out. 

Gold and Bold Hype Video

It was awesome when that bird made that face. If Iowa can play with THE SPIRIT OF THE BIRD then this is truly anybody's ballgame. Rumer has it that this game will be under the lights, soda speak. When Vince Lombardy invented football he probably said "this would be an awesome sport at night if we could light it up enough," but sadly he died before the stadium lights could ever be invented. What a horrible tradgety. Vince if your up there in Pig Skin Heaven right now, this maybe night game is all for you.

  • Week 7, Purdue

The season is halfway over and it feels like it only just begun! It really tells you a lot about time and life. It was Walt Whitman that said, "God's Plan", and then hugged poor people. We can learn so much from this visionery. Purdue Football 2019 is trying to make it to the promised land, but they did'nt realize that heh, this promise only takes you to Iowa City, IA! Home of the Hawkeyes. This will be a rough and/or tumble situation for sure. Purdue's most famous player ever is Drew Brease, who played for the Boilermakers a billion years ago when everyone was still driving trains everywhere. They honnor him with decorating their helmets with trains to this day. #CoolFact

  • Week 8, Northwestern, at

Northwestern is the forgotton champion of the Big Ten West Conference, literally nobody knows they won the whole thing and then lost to Ohio State Football 2018 in the Big Ten Football 2018 championship. Coach Pat Fitzpatrick will have his wildcats ready with sharp claws and not wanting to be petted on their bellies. If you pet my cat there he'll bite you. I named him Fortnite but he won't learn any of the dance moves, I hate cats now because of that. 

Vince Lombardy

If Iowa wins this game they are probabally #1 in the nation by now! I bet College Gameday 2019 would just follow them around every week as the best story in the nation of college football 2019. You have to watch out for Coach Fitzerland though,he can be crafty, like a cat. ;)

  • Week 9, Wisconsin, at

If your not excited for this game then maybe you don't disserve a football team to call home. Iowa has to fly up to Wisconsin, the home of Camp Randle College Football Stadium, to face one of the toughist teams in the nation! I bet most teams would be to scared and say no, we quit! But a true Iowa University Hawkeye never quits.... ever!! They will show up and the crowd will be so amazed that they all chear for Iowa instead! That would make the Wisconsin University Football 2019 players so mad that they can't concentrate and then it's anyone's ball game for sure! "Home field advantage? Heh.. (chuckles to himself)... think again pal. " - Coach Fernetz

  • Week 10, Minnesota

This one is for all the "marbles," folks. We could see a real matchup of teams with nothing to lose, except... the whole world! It is could be pretty epic in the big "house." Michigan University Wolverines 2019 is loaded with lot's of talent, but Jim Harbow can't win the big one with his life on the line, and everyone knows it maybe. Can he crack... the code??? Everyone is questioning this now! Iowa defense end AJ Epenzena needs at least 5 sacks or this could be Blowout City, USA.

  • Week 11, Illinois

Illinois suck's @$$. If you had your choice of losing this game or getting punched in your privates as hard as you can, you wouldn't be able to choose because their the same thing.

Sucks ass sorry for the swear
  • Week 12, Nebraska, at

The season finallé is for all the marbles. If you didnt' win enough games in your College Football Season 2019 by now, your season might be over... for good! Otherwise you enter Post Season 2019. That is where things really get interesting! Nobody knows for sure who... or what? ... chooses your surprise opponant in Post Season 2019. Then it's up to you to prove if your team can truly do it all or if your just another sucky nobody who lost in the Dork Bowl. 

We all know that Iowa University is going to run roughshoes over everyone and everything here in College Football 2019, but Nebraska's new Coach Fred Hoyburg is going to say hey... wait a second here, and maybe do an upset if Iowa Hawkeyes are not careful. That would be super embarassing after everything these boys went through! You can never take a play off if you want to make the playoff. That's what my cousin Luke's coach told him when he played football, I think that guy ended up getting arrested for accidently driving his car into a street light at 3 am and nearly burning the whole city down if the street light had hit some grass. That would have been a disastar, just like losing to Nebraska Football 2019. 

  • College Football 2019 Prediction
College Football 2019 Prediction

There is no way to know for sure how many wins and losses will happen because hey, just look at all the factors you have to compare and contrast! If I can't do it I know you can't either. "But you have to have Faith" - a Limp Biscuit oldie song that came out before I was born. Iowa Football 2019 has to believe it can win the National Championship 2019 or else they are just wasting all our time and money. Coach Firenets would be livved! He would scream at them until his head fell off and then everyone would be sad and angry at themselves. That would be the biggest story of College Football 2019.

  • The end...?
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