Warn the dead horse: I am about to go old guy on y’all.
The big Iowa-Penn State game this week has brought back to mind the last game this huge in Kinnick Stadium, the 1985 match between #1 Iowa and #2 Michigan. Of course I remember it; I was thirteen years old and watched most of the game on a black-and-white TV at my great-uncle Curt’s little grocery store in Duncombe. That was the most loaded team I’ve ever seen Iowa have, a defense as good as the current one, but with Chuck Long, Ronnie Harmon, and Quinn Early on offense. No shade thrown on the 2021 offense, but that one was just better.
It was an excellent game. I was utterly convinced that the Hawks were going to hork the #1 ranking, because in 1985, Iowa fans were not yet used to having nice things. Both defenses shot the lights out all afternoon. It fell to Rob Houghtlin, a sophomore transfer student placekicker (from, of all places, Fake Miami) to win the game.
Now, one of my berserk buttons as a fan is when a kicker misses a last-second game-deciding field goal and the fandom decides the kicker “lost the game for us.” Or worse, complain that kicking is part of the game at all. I get being angry, but in any situation where a figgie makes (or doesn’t make) the difference, the kicker is just the last person who could win the game after the rest of the team failed to. All of this is to say that I was fully prepared for Houghtlin to miss the kick (he’d missed one earlier in the fourth quarter) and Michigan to become the #1 team in the country. Same as it ever was.
But he didn’t miss. He hit it right as the clock ran out to give Iowa a 12-10 victory. It was the first moment that I began to think the Hawkeyes could actually be a capital-P Program.
I mention that to remind that Iowa can still think of itself as a capital-P Program, this game on Saturday is HUGE, and remember that Iowa wound up losing the Rose Bowl that season. Again, same as it ever was.
Right. The games. Let’s review last week:
- Charlotte at Illinois: I said Illinois 23, Charlotte 17; actual score, Illinois 24, Charlotte 14. The chips and queso would still have been a better choice.
- Iowa at Maryland: I said Iowa 20, Maryland 10; actual score, Iowa 51, Maryland 14. Really, what’s the point of only being a little bit wrong?
- Western Kentucky at Michigan State: I said Sparty 28, WKU 20; actual score, Sparty 48, WKU 31. Defense? Is that what you put around de-pasture?
- Northwestern at Nebraska: I said Nebby 24, jNWU 21; actual score, Nebby 56, jNWU 7. I said Nebraska was due to win one of these; it decided to win seven of them at once.
- Indiana at Penn State: I said PSU 30, IU 26; actual score, PSU 24, IU 0. A result simultaneously better and worse than I expected.
- Minnesota at Purdue: I said Minny 30, PU 27; actual score, Minny 20, PU 13. … good for Fleck? I don’t know. It’s a win. Nobody knows if Purdue is any good.
- Ohio State at Rutgers: I said aOSU 38, RU 20; actual score, aOSU 52, RU 13. Aww, how cute, they beat Iowa’s margin of victory!
- Michigan at Wisconsin: I said UM 31, Wisky 21; actual score, UM 38, Wisky 17. Yeeulk, Bucky.
You will note I was a perfect 8-0 last week, mostly because those games were easy to pick. This week? Eh, not so much.
MARYLAND AT #7 OHIO STATE (11 am CDT, FOX)
Maryland probably isn’t as bad as it looked against Iowa last Friday, and Ohio State probably isn’t as good as it looked against Rutgers, but the outcome of this game is not really in doubt. Even with their engines a bit out of tune, the Buckeyes are just too talented for the banged-up Terps. Though at least Maryland gets to play against a less-threatening defense, hey?
The Fleshpots of Columbus 44, The Ignored Part of DC 17.
#11 MICHIGAN STATE AT RUTGERS (11 am CDT, BTN)
Can I just say I’m legitimately impressed by Sparty this season? I think Mel Tucker has turned them around faster and more completely than Greg Schiano has made Rutgers better.
It’s really gonna suck when Schiano goes to USC and Tucker takes the LSU job.
I think Rutgers is not a bad team at all -- or I would, if Rutgers was real. But it isn’t. I don’t know if Michigan State is for real but the offense just keeps rolling, and it’s going to roll over the Dear Old Rutgers Knights of Scarlet (DORKS).
Lansing Boils 34, Pss! Cat! Away! 21.
WISCONSIN AT ILLINOIS (2:30 pm CDT, BTN)
Two states that usually express their hostilities towards each other via radar gun meet to settle things on the football field, in a show with everything but Yul Brynner, a competent offense, and a show.
I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe I am about to say what I am about to say.
… I like the Illini in this one.
“Alexa, order me a gallon of Clorox For the Brain!”
Urbana Renewal 23, Graham Cracker Crumbs 21.
#9 MICHIGAN AT NEBRASKA (6:30 pm CDT, ABC)
High off its utter evisceration of the Northwestern Wildcats last week, Nebraska hosts Michigan and its weird but effective coach, Jim Harbaugh (who was the Wolverines QB in that 1985 game I mentioned in the intro). There is little doubt that Nebraska is one of the nation’s most improved teams in-season this year, as all the parts are finally coming together for Scott Frost.
Problem is, the same thing is happening for Jim Harbaugh. So for Nebraska to pull off the big, program-changing upset in front of the home crowd, it will have to have a game low in penalties, turnovers, and those mini-Chernobyls on special teams.
In other words, it ain’t gonna happen, laddie-buck. Those things are as much a part of Nebraska football now as running backs with weird names used to be. Michigan wins, though it won’t be easy.
Everything’s Coming Up Khaki 34, Why Can’t the Whole Conference Be Odd-Year Northwestern 31.
And, of course …
#4 PENN STATE AT #3 IOWA (3pm CDT, FOX)
It’s like this: No one, including many Iowa fans, and especially including this one writing the column, takes Iowa seriously as the nation’s third-ranked team. Disregard the improving offense and the smothering defense. There’s so much a sense that this is a team just waiting for its cover to get blown.
But you do realize that this is the team Kirk Ferentz has been trying to build since 1999, right? One whose defense and special teams are so good that the offense doesn’t have to press, giving the time for an organic flow to begin developing?
Nobody has had any success throwing the ball against the Hawkeyes. Every week it’s been “just wait until they have to face This Guy.” Then This Guy shows up, throws gigapicks, and gets benched.
So no, I’m not scared of the Penn State offense. I respect it. But I thought Indiana had a great offense. I thought Iowa State had a great offense. I thought Maryland had a great offense -- and maybe all those teams do have great offenses. They just didn’t play that way against Iowa, you know?
Now, the Penn State defense is scary. If the Hawks fall behind by more than 7 at any point in the first half I am mostly expecting the offense to fall apart in a flurry of overthrows and 3-yard gains on 3rd and 7.
But I’m telling you, as someone who has been a Hawkeye fan for over forty years … this team feels special. Maybe I’m deluding myself. These Penn State-Iowa games are always close, even when the football is bad. So I expect this one will be as well.
And I expect Iowa to win it.
The Autumn of Kirk 17, The Subject of Speculation 13.
Last week: 8-0 (1.000)
Season: 35-11 (.761)
