Breaking news: Quicker than Wisconsin could axe Paul Chryst, Gary Barta has just re-upped Kirk and Brian Ferentz through 2039.
Or, maybe, it just feels that way.
As the Hawkeyes labor through an uninspiring fall campaign (with our wretched offense sinking to new lows on an almost weekly basis), you realize just how handcuffed we are to la familia Ferentz. In case anyone needs a reminder, Kirk is counting them checks through the 2029 season. And for those eyeing the buyout language for proverbial shits and giggles, Ferentz would collect $6 million for every remaining year on his contract.
I bring up Ferentz's favorable contract (for Kirk, that is…not the University of Iowa) because, in retrospect, his “trust me” response to last year’s offensive woes is entirely unsurprising. With Kirk outleveraging Barta (honorable mention to super agent Neil Cornrich), what incentive does our successful, yet stubborn, coach have to modernize his offensive philosophy? Instead, we are (likely) wedded to Ferentz until retirement do us part. And, for the record, we are now on decade three of Barta extending Ferentz, well, a decade at a time. I have a feeling this contract is going to age like Trader Joe’s Two Buck Chuck—or, ahem, Kirk’s offensive philosophy.
Speaking of offense (or offensive), Iowa fans are used to 17-14 swordfights. We are even in on the joke. But as much as I love Tory Taylor’s boomerangs, it isn’t too much to expect Iowa to score, say, three offensive touchdowns per game. I am not asking for Steve Spurrier’s “hang half-a hundred on ‘em” offense, although that would be nice. Instead, Iowa has managed seven total offensive touchdowns in its first five games…so there’s your half-a-hundred, greedy Hawkeye fans. At least in theory, our offense shouldn’t be rated R for Disturbing Images. We have some pieces: a senior quarterback (yeah, I know, but still), three talented running backs, two playmaking tight ends, and a touted offensive line (not to mention a reputed offensive live savant serving as head coach). So why, on a yearly basis, does Iowa’s offense resemble squeezing the last bit of ketchup out of a Heinz bottle?
But as excruciating as Iowa’s offense is (at this point, I celebrate missed field goals), here’s the most excruciating part: I don’t see Iowa’s offense improving, as long as Kirk Ferentz is helming the Hawkeyes. This reeks of Stephen A. Smith hyperbole so let me detail my thought process.
First, our elite defense, special teams, and non-conference schedule provide a high floor (on that note, Ferentz should tithe to the conference gods that Iowa is in the Big Ten West). It is unlikely the Hawkeyes completely bottom out (a la 2012), which should postpone Kirk’s reckoning with Iowa’s wet paper bag of an offense. Second (and stating the obvious), Iowa’s offensive coordinator is his son. While Kinnick Stadium reverberates with “Fire Brian” chants, do you realistically expect Ferentz, or Barta, to fire the handpicked offensive coordinator? Following last year’s bumbling offense, as well as substantiated racism and bullying allegations against him, our offensive coordinator received an almost 5% pay raise. And during the elder Ferentz’s almost quarter century as head coach in Iowa City, he has only fired two assistants. Finally, with a virtual lifetime contract from the athletic director, what financial incentive, or even external pressure, does Ferentz face to overhaul his lackluster offense? Following his most recent contract extension, Kirk immediately disbanded the diversity advisory committee, critics and PR optics be damned. You think he cares that you and I think his offensive playbook is straight out of Tecmo Bowl? Kirk knows the guy cashing those checks is, essentially, the same guy writing those checks. And as long as he puts out a semi-respectable product (see high floor above), he can continue to trot out the same tired offensive schemes. Ross beautifully captured the FU mentality masquerading as complementary football.
As the Hawkeyes perfect the art of winning ugly and losing even uglier (see: the ISU game), those three hours of Saturday couch time blur the line between entertainment and drudgery. Iowa football isn’t exactly "night out on the Ped Mall" fun. And that’s the problem: If the Ferentzes can’t produce a winning product (over the last 13 games, Iowa is a scuffling 7-6), then at least make the product somewhat entertaining. We can start with a semi-watchable offense, one that produces more points than punts. Instead, as Iowa scratches and claws its way to a mid-tier finish in a down Big Ten West, I expect more of the same: a break-in-case-of-emergency offense sabotaging Iowa’s stellar defense and special teams, once again. The more relevant question, both for this season and beyond: When, if ever, will Ferentz re-evaluate his “bet on us” approach to offensive improvement? Iowa’s fan base deserves a real answer.
